Oh, What a Peculiar Love Story
by TeamDexter4ever
Summary: There is nothing spectacular about this story. No villain. No battle. This is a simple story. There's love. That's it. Because really, what more do you need? Niall Horan/OC. Because YOLO.
1. Chapter 1

I never planned on being a mother at 18 years old. Of course I didn't. After all, who _plans_ those kinds of things? Not me.

No I was the good girl. The one who was going places. The girl you asked questions because she somehow always knew the answers. I was smart. I am smart.

I'm busy too though. What with juggling school and raising twins, it's not easy to find time to do things. As can be expected.

There's no father to speak of. Why would there be? What 19 year old father would want to help an 18 years old girl raise two little boys? Not a sane one. That's for goddamn sure.

But I'm not telling this story right. I'm making it sound like what it isn't.

I am _not_ a mother of twins. Not in the literal sense anyways. I didn't give birth to them. They don't really look like me. Dark hair, sure, but after that, we couldn't' be related.

My best friend got pregnant when she was 16. It was one of those stories that parents tell their daughters to warn them away from sex but the stories never work because hormones over-rule logic. She was a statistic. She was unlucky. And nine months afterwards, she was a mother.

But she was still my best friend. My only friend really. So I stuck by her. How could I not? She may not have been a genius or always made the best choices but she wanted to raise those boys. She loved them. So I helped her, because the asshole who knocked her up wanted nothing to do with the situation.

Riddle and Ronan. Beautiful names for beautiful boys with brown hair and giant hazel eyes. I understand why she wanted to keep them. Why she wanted to raise them. They were wonderful. Difficult at times. Noisy. Messy. But wonderful additions to the world.

Inevitably, I fell in love with them. I worried over them. I helped her pay for things they needed. I babysat when she needed a break. My parents trusted me. Or at least they knew enough to stay out of my way. I wasn't about to let the situation compromise my future. And they didn't have to worry. I had full ride to Brown. Pre-med.

Like I said, I'm smart. So my senior year was spent largely being a parent, because it seemed to be more and more often that my bestie needed a break. And then she was having a breakdown because she realized this whole being a parent thing was a lot harder than she'd first thought. She was going to give them up for adoption.

And this is what you must understand: I couldn't let it. I wasn't angry at her. I was disappointed maybe, but not angry. I just _couldn't_ lose those boys. When you spend so much time with someone, when you look into eyes that are so blissfully unaware of the horrors of the world and see the adoration there, you become addicted to it. Because for once in your life, someone really needs you. Needs you in a way that adults can't. And they trust you to take care of them. To love them. To cherish them.

And I just couldn't lose them. It was too much to think about.

So I convinced her to give me custody. It wasn't easy. Hell no. I was only 18. The courts didn't want to hand two one year olds over to another teenager. But we had people speak for me. Talk about how good I was with them. How money wasn't an issue. I could take care of them. My parents were going to help.

So I got them. Riddle and Ronan are my sons not by blood but by law and choice. And they are two of the most beautiful people in my life. They mean more to me than anyone.

And so yes, this is my story of love but not just with some famous boy. It's my story of love with my two little boys and the man that helped me rediscover the amazing joys of being a mother.

I am Lily. It's nice to meet you.


	2. Chapter 2

It was the cries that woke me, like most mornings. Honestly, I didn't have a use for an alarm clock anymore. Riddle operated in a very specific way. Sleep at midnight. Wake up at 5. Every night. I was used to it by now.

I rolled sideways, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and throwing the sheets away from me. It was April. The semester would be drawing to a close soon. Which meant time. Time was what I always needed. But for today, I just needed to focus on getting Riddle and Ronan up and dressed. Fed. Then it was to the grocery store because we were running low on milk and bread and…everything.

So, get awake, go to the grocery, get home, try and study, feed the twins lunch, get homework done and maybe have some free time to sit and breathe afterwards. That was the plan. Of course, things very rarely go according to plan when you have twins.

Riddle had woken Ronan up with his screams, and so I'd had to try and soothe both of them at once and get them fed at the same time. It'd taken an hour and a half to get them to eat a single thing of baby food each. And then Ronan had still been crying and had screamed so hard that he'd thrown his food back up. And that had made Riddle start crying again.

I didn't end up leaving the house until 8. But it wasn't so bad. The grocery store was open and that was all that mattered. But the actual grocery shopping was always a challenge.

The doors swished open and cold air hit me as I walked into Kroger, the smell of meat and processed cheese hitting my nose almost immediately. I pulled a basket out of the row with my foot before slowly lowering Riddle into the seat. R tried to lower. He kept kicking his legs and refusing to sit down.

"Riddle," I scolded, knowing he couldn't have any idea what I was saying. "Stop kicking mommy. Sit down." I said quietly to myself, using what little free movement I had with my other hand to gently tug his legs. Finally, he flopped onto his bottom, releasing a stream of slobbery giggles that had me smiling. He'd always been the more energetic of the two. Ronan was conked out on my shoulder, drooling all over my shirt. But it was okay. Riddle had woken him up much too early anyways. He always did.

"Welcome to Kroger," An old man smiled at me as I pushed the cart with one hand, and I managed to spare him a smile and a nod.

The first few months I'd been in custody, I'd been ashamed to go out. I'd been paranoid, seeing a disapproving glint in every eye that turned my way. A condescending tone in every voice that spoke to me. But the truth of the matter was, most people couldn't tell how old I was. Or they didn't know for sure I was their mom. So they didn't really judge me. It'd just taken me a little to become comfortable in my role.

"You want some bread?" I asked Riddle as we rolled down the isle, and held out the plastic wrapped loaf to him. His hands flailed for it, droll running down his chin as his chubby hands tried to grip it. "Home. When we get home." I said, slowly pulling it away from him and putting it into the cart.

"What's next?" I asked, widening my eyes at him and shifting my hip, readjusting my hold on Ronan. People fail to realize how exhausting it gets carrying around a baby. My arm was already beginning to ache but I'd known it would.

"Hmmm," I hummed, rolling through the next isle. "Here, you can hold this," I said, smiling as I handed Riddle a roll of paper towels. He gripped it tightly, and I watched his little fingers flex against the soft fabric. "Fun?" I smiled, continuing the push the cart, my fingers desperate to flex away from the plastic they were curled around.

"MOMMY!" Someone screamed in the next isle. A child of course, and I jumped, my heart thundering as I pushed the cart faster. A child. A lost child. Those were my first thoughts. They came to an abrupt halt as I turned into the next isle to find a little boy sprawled across the floor, kicking his arms and legs as his mother stood nearby. Doing nothing.

"MOMMY! I want to go home! Home now! Now! Now! NOW!" His cries became increasingly hysteric and I watched, with fascination and not just a little bit of disgust as his mother ignored him. Completely. Like he wasn't even there. Like he didn't even matter.

Of course he was going to scream. He was lonely. And my heart went out to him even as a part of me wanted to yell at him to shut up because Riddle was wide-eyed and looking confused and Ronan was beginning to wake up.

I backed out of the isle quickly, flustered. Encountering other parents was something I avoided. I had the bad habit of thinking I knew much better than them.

"Shhhh," I soothed Ronan quickly, praying that he might just stay asleep. Just for a little bit…

But no. In the next few seconds he became more and more lucid and I felt the tiny body nestled against my chest begin to shake with sobs that sooner or later were going to grow very loud.

"Shhhh," I said again even when I knew it wasn't going to help.

My eyes scanned isles of food, but I couldn't exactly remember what I was supposed to be looking for anymore. God damn it. Riddle was looking around, frightened. Of course. Ronan was crying now, with full out body shaking sobs and I released the cart to run a hand over my forehead. And that sign of stress was enough to set off Riddle. That and the noise.

So there I was, standing in the middle of the isle of a grocery store with two crying one year olds.

And I really wanted to cry too. Because all I'd wanted was one day, just one day where things went according to plan.

"Ronan calm down baby," I cooed, bouncing him. He wasn't in the bouncing mood. His cries increased in volume. Riddle released the paper towels and they fell on the floor.

"Riddle," I scolded lightly, even though I knew he couldn't have known he was supposed to continue to hold onto them.

_They're babies._ I reminded myself. But it was just one of those days. Those days when nothing is going your way and it pisses you off and you just want to scream at something. I awkwardly bent to pick up the paper towels and throw them into the basket, all the while trying to collect the thoughts that had been scattered by infant screams.

I felt a great glob of spit fall onto my shirt.

"Shhhhh," I tried again, closing my eyes against the slight tingle there. The threat of tears that I couldn't deal with right now.

I'd signed up for this. I could do this.

I reached a hand over and soothingly ran my fingers through Riddle's hair, rocking my body back and forth in the hopes that it might calm Ronan. I scraped my nails lightly along his scalp.

Nothing was working. Apparently it was one of those days for them as well.

"We're okay," I whispered, continuing my movements and trying to figure out what else I could do to help. "We're okay."

"Need help?" A voice asked me, and I spun around, my eyes landing on a girl with a pretty smile and long curly hair. And, I couldn't help but notice, superb fashion sense.

"Umm," I hesitated. I hated asking strangers for help. It made me feel terribly inadequate.

"Here, I'll push the cart. Do you have a list?" She asked, not bothering to wait for any sort of confirmation as she lightly pushed me aside and gripped the handle. For a moment my heart stopped and I waited for her to suddenly take off with Riddle.

She didn't.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching into my pocket and fumbling with the slightly warm piece of paper. "Here." I smiled through my embarrassment. I hated needing help. I hated not being able to do my job as a mother. But I wasn't going to refuse. I couldn't right now, not when I was on the cusp of an emotional breakdown. End of course exams were coming up.

"Okay well you have bread and paper towels. You need milk, cream cheese, and yogurt from the dairy section. We'll get that last." Her voice trailed off, and I watched her eyes wander over the paper. Ronan was quieting down finally in my arms but Riddle's cries were not slowing.

"Riddle, shhhhh," I hushed him, stepping closer to the basket and pressing my lips firmly to his forehead. "Shhhh," I whispered. He just looked at me and let more droll fall down his chin.

Ronan squirmed in my arms and whimpered, and I quickly moved to press my lips to his forehead next. He was warm. But I couldn't tell if it was from all the crying or if it was a fever.

"I'll need to pick up some sort of child fever reducer too." I muttered, not sure why I was telling this woman. "I'm Lily by the way." I said, realizing I'd forgotten to mention my name.

"Danielle." The woman beside me smiled, beginning to push the basket. "Who are these two darlings?" She asked, and only then did I fully realize she had an accent. British.

"This is Ronan," I said, slightly lifting my arm. "That's Riddle," I sighed, running a hand over his cheek. He turned his head toward my hand.

"Ma!" He cried, coughing. Great. Just what I needed. Two sick babies. I prayed that he was only coughing because of his cries. Then he dissolved into to snotty babbling.

If Danielle was surprised to hear him call me mama she certainly didn't show it. She just kept pushing the basket slowly.

"Are they sick?" She asked worriedly, coming around a corner and picking up a box of brown rice and several boxes of spaghetti and mac-and-cheese. We lived on that stuff.

"I don't know. Ronan threw up this morning but I thought it was because he was crying too hard. It was just one of those mornings." I said, shrugging, knowing she wouldn't understand.

She didn't say anything to that, just kept pushing the cart and letting me try and calm them down. Ronan had fallen asleep again, a sweaty weight against my body. Riddle's crying was simply half-hearted snorts and yells now, and he'd taken to sniffing and gurgling.

I switched Ronan to the other arm, resting my cheek against his forehead. He was definitely warm. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Bad day. Bad bad day.

Now I had to add a doctor's trip into my schedule. I reached over into the basket and fished around for my phone in the pocket, pulling it out and running through the list to the pediatrician.

I glanced at Danielle and smiled as I dialed the number. You could never be too safe. It rang twice before the receptionist picked up.

"Dr. Karken's office how may I help you?"

"Hi, this is Lily Draven, my twin boys seem to be running a little fever I was wondering if you had any openings today for a check-up?" I asked, biting my lip and pressing my head to Ronan's forehead again. He was definitely warm.

"We don't seem to have anything open today but we have a space open tomorrow at 8:30." She said.

I breathed sharply through my nose. My classes started at nine.

"Do you have anything else, maybe after 3? I won't be out of school until 2." I asked, waiting as I heard her typing away on her keyboard on the other end.

"We have something at 5." She said.

"That would be good." I said, sighing in relief. At least something would work out. Maybe.

"Okay, I have you down. What are the children's names?" She asked.

"Ronan and Riddle Draven."

"Alright. Please be here at least 30 minutes prior to the time of your appointment."

"Thank you." I said, and hung up quickly as I felt Ronan start coughing against my shoulder. I knew that cough. I grabbed a cloth out of my bag and put it over my shoulder, waiting.

And there it was, the spit up.

"Ohhh baby," I sighed, rubbing his back with my free arm before reaching back to use the cloth to wipe up the vomit. "I'm sorry, I know, I know." I said, as I listened to the garbled no's and ma's he kept sputtering.

Riddle started to hiccup.

"Here," Danielle held her hand out, and I looked at her strangely, wondering why some stranger would be willing to help clean up a random babies puke. "I'm not very squeamish." She smiled.

"So what made you decide to help some random girl in the grocery store? Don't you have groceries to buy?" I asked.

"Well quite honestly I'm not meant to be out. I'm just visiting and I was told to stay in the hotel. But I was going absolutely mad with boredom so I decided to come out and see the sights." She shrugged. "You seemed like you could use a hand."

"So you're idea of seeing the sights is visiting a Kroger?" I asked, a small smile lifting my lips.

"It's where the bus took me. I wasn't exactly paying attention when I got on." She laughed.

"Well thank you," I said. "For stopping, I mean. I really appreciate the help."

"How old are you?" She asked suddenly, and I felt my face heat.

"Eighteen."

"You're brave." She said, smiling brightly. And I knew I must've looked startled, because she released a bright laugh. "I wouldn't be able to handle kids. You're strong. I can see it. And you've got to be more responsible than any of the 18 year olds I know."

"Thank you," I said slowly, looking at her more closely. I felt like I'd seen her before…somewhere…"Most people don't look at it that way. They see a teenager with kids and…well, you know how those things go."

"I imagine." She nodded, stopping in front of some freezers to pull out a jug of whole milk.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?" I asked, tilting my head. There was definitely something very familiar about her. Like I'd seen her face on a magazine or something. But…I couldn't have.

"We've never met." She smiled, and I didn't miss her phrasing. But I wouldn't push the subject.

"Hmm," I hummed, using my free hand to grab a box of yogurt.

"Listen, I know you don't know me, and you're probably confused to why but I would very much like to help you today. I mean, I don't have children but they seem very restless and…well, you said you had school tomorrow. Let me help you today. I'll…make you lunch or something while you get them settled." She said, eyes wide and excited.

Sometimes in life, you meet people who are just genuinely good. To the core they're beautiful and for some reason the world hasn't tainted that yet. Or hasn't had the heart to. I felt, _knew_ that Danielle was one of those people.

"Well…even if this is all very strange," I laughed, "I think I'll have to take you up on your offer. I have a lot of studying to do."

"Brilliant." She smiled, grabbing a bag and placing tomatoes in it.


	3. Chapter 3

"You have a nice place here." Danielle said, cutting a tomato into thin slices.

"Thank you." I smiled, closing the door to the twin's room softly behind me. It'd taken a good half hour to get Ronan down. He was burning up. My head pounded with the worry.

"So what is it your studying at university?" She asked, and I would never get over how completely wonderful her accent was.

"Pre-med."

"Wow." She said, smiling again and placing a sandwich on a plate for me, handing it over as I headed over to the table with my textbook.

"I like kids. Obviously. I'm going to be a pediatrician." I took a bite of the sandwich. It was good, an oddity, since I usually didn't have much time to pay attention to what I ate. "What do you do?" I asked, flipping to the section we were studying.

"I'm a dancer." She said. "I've been in a few music videos and such." She shrugged, like it wasn't a big deal. And I suppose she said it that way because she didn't want it to be a big deal.

"That's awesome." I said, "Umm, there's a TV in there, if you wanted to watch it. Umm, I have some books and stuff over there if you wanted to stick around," I said, realizing I couldn't very well carry on a conversation while trying to study.

"I'll let you study then. I have a book." She said, pulling one out of her purse.

And so we settled into a quietness that was only disturbed by the occasional rustle of a page being turned.

By the time I finally placed my book down, my head aching with the information I'd taken in, a few hours had passed. I looked towards the boys room. It was quiet. But they had to eat. I sighed, knowing that once I woke them it would take hours to get them back down.

"Um, I have to feed the boys so it's probably going to get pretty noisy in here," I warned, hating to assume that she would want to be around that.

"I'll help."

I stopped putting away my books to look at her again.

"…Really?" I asked.

"Of course." She said, and she smiled again.

I opened the high chairs up and poured milk into two sippy cups.

"There's um, there's left-over mac and cheese in the fridge. They usually will just eat that with some applesauce. That's in the pantry." I said, nodding to the door in the kitchen. "I'll just go get them up."

"All right." She said, as I walked down the hall to open the door. The lights were off and I could hear the gentle sound of breathing coming from the two cribs. But the room was warm and smelled sick.

I walked over to Riddle's crib and picked him up, wincing at the sweat that made a track down his back and through his shirt.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," I said when he started to wake.

"Ma baa jooo." He said. "Joo. Joo. Joo. Joo."

"I have your milk." I said, walking into the kitchen and setting him in his highchair, snapping the top closed and placing his cup on the top. He grabbed it immediately.

"How's he feel?" Danielle asked, setting a small plastic plate of mac and cheese and applesauce in front of him.

"Sweaty," I sighed. She frowned.

I walked back to the room, hearing Ronan begin to squirm where he lay and whimper, aware of the disturbance of air in his room.

"Mommy's right here Ronan." I said, reaching down and picking him up. "You're hungry?" I asked.

"Joo."

"Yes. Milk is here." I laughed, watching him scrunch his face up at the light in the room. I put him in his chair as well, giving him his milk before going to search for a washcloth. Meals always ended in a mess.

"Ma." Ronan said, his face red and blotchy. "Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma!" He yelled, slapping his hands into the applesauce Danielle had just given him.

"No Ronan," I scolded him, grabbing his hands and running the cloth over them. "No. Eat your food."

He dipped his fingers into the apple sauce again before proceeding to stick his fingers in his mouth. Riddle watched him for a second before he copied his actions.

"He doesn't look well Lily," Danielle said, watching Ronan as a bead of sweat fell down his forehead. I had already disappeared into the bathroom to grab a thermometer.

"I know." I said, holding my hand against his body as I tried to get his temperature. "103" I said, my heart pounding in my ears. "He needs a doctor now." I said, taking away his food and pulling him out as he started to cry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was wrong with him. And Danielle was here. This strange girl I didn't really know.

"Here I'll get him," She said though, immediately moving to get Riddle out of his seat. "He feels really warm as well. I'll wrap their food up. In case they have to wait when we get to the E.R."

"You really don't have to come. I'll probably be there for a while. You've been a great help but I don't expect you to do this." I tried to brush off her help. Making lunch for an obviously stressed stranger was one thing, but spending the night in the E.R. was another.

"Don't be daft. I can't imagine how scared you are right now. Is there anyone you need to call?" She asked. Code for, is there a father that needs to be contacted?

"No." I said, walking back into the boys room and grabbing the diaper bag and a change of clothes.

"I have your purse right here." She said, balancing Riddle on one hip with my purse around her wrist and cups of applesauce in her hand.

"Thank you." I said, taking my purse from her. I turned around, flipping off any lights I could but I really couldn't be bothered to clean things up at the moment.

"All right, let's go then." She said, and I thought maybe she said it almost sternly, as if she was trying to help me focus. Who _was_ this girl? People like her just didn't exist. People that kind couldn't be real. Not here.

"Okay." I nodded, holding the door open and letting her out first. Ronan was squirming again in my arms, starting to flail his fists around. "Shhh baby it's okay. We're going, we're going." I hushed him, quickly descending the stairs of my apartment complex to my car, where Danielle already waited. Ronan relaxed slightly in the cool evening air. God he was burning up.

I unlocked the car door clumsily, opening the back to strap Ronan into his car seat as Danielle did the same on the opposite side.

We were nearly to the E.R. when Danielle's phone began to ring.

"Hello?" She asked, and I heard a faint voice on the other end. "On the way to the E.R." She said, and I saw her roll her eyes. "No, no, Lily's little boys are running a fever." I wondered how she could do that, say my name and talk about what was happening like it was normal. Like she helped strangers with their children all the time. "I met her today at the grocer's."

"You know I appreciate this but if there's somewhere you have to be-" She waved off my concerns.

"Yeah I'm staying. You guys can't be done yet can you?" She asked, squinting at the clock. "Oh. Well I won't leave until she sends me away so you lot will just have to come to the hospital then." She said. My eyes widened considerably.

Were we having some sort of party in the E.R. waiting room?

"That's not necessary." I hurried to stop her. I didn't want to drag other people into this mess. And having a bunch of people show up at the hospital while Ronan and Riddle were sick was just…odd.

"Well then don't come. I'm just saying I probably won't get back to the hotel until late. So, don't wait up." She rolled her eyes at whoever she was talking to. "Yeah yeah, love you as well, bye." She hung up, and turned to look back at Ronan and Riddle. "Hey you're all right there." She said, reaching back to tug on Ronan's toes.

"How do they look?" I asked, turning into the parking lot, my eyes scanning the lit signs pointing me in the direction of the emergency room. I ran a hand through my hair, knowing it was going to be a long night. The lecture tomorrow was going to be pure Hell. Damn it.

"Riddle looks sleepy. Ronan's fussin' still. Whatever they got he's got it worse."

"He always does." I shook my head. Ronan was just…softer than Riddle. Riddle was the loud one. The energetic one. Ronan was shy and quiet and always more fragile.

"Well let's hope it's not busy then." Danielle shrugged as we pulled into a space near the doors. I hopped out of the car and hurried around to the back of the car. Ronan was tossing back and forth, sweating and drooling. My boys did not drool that much normally. My stomach flipped with my nerves. Oh god something was wrong. Something was wrong.

"Okay Ronan we're going to see what's happening okay?" I tried to calm myself as I glanced at Riddle. He was sweating too. This day had gone from stressful to terrifying. "You got him?" I asked, watching as she picked him up and didn't wince at the sweat. That was a cute shirt too.

"Yeah love, let's go." She nodded and began walking into the hospital. I followed quickly, sighing in relief at the cool air that blasted over me as I walked through the doors. The room was quiet, an old man sitting in one seat coughing and a woman sitting behind the front desk on the phone. As I approached the desk she handed me a form and I held up another finger, requesting two. She glanced at Danielle, saw Riddle and nodded, handing me another clipboard.

We moved to the seats.

"Here I can hold them both while you fill those out." Danielle offered, and I sent her a grateful look before helping to situate Ronan in her arms. I filled out their information as quickly as I could and pulled out the insurance from my purse.

I hurried back to the desk, my eyes on Danielle the whole time. I still wasn't about to unconditionally trust a stranger to hold my two sons while I turned my back. She may have been kind but I wasn't so naïve as to blindly trust.

"Thank you." The nurse said, looking over the information and frowning. "I'll see if I can get you in soon." She said, looking over at Danielle.

"Thank you." I nodded, rushing back over to take Ronan from Danielle. I knew how heavy they could get. There was a wet spot on her shoulder from the drool. "Sorry for the drool, he usually isn't so bad." I apologized, sitting down beside her to wait even though my nerves urged me to pace the room. I knew it would only fluster the sleeping babe in my arms.

"It's no problem. Really." She said. And I knew she was sincere.

"You're very kind. Almost suspiciously so. I have to wonder if you have a motive. No offense." I hurriedly added, not wanting to insult someone who had done so much without any reason.

"No, no. If I was you I'd be confused too. I don't really know why but…I don't know, you seem like someone I'd get on with. And as I already said, you're brave. I don't know how you do this alone." She said, shifting Riddle to her other shoulder.

"Me either." I sighed, wondering once again how I was still alive. How I was still managing to keep A's in my classes. How I managed to keep my brain from imploding.

We sat in silence after that for a while, listening to the sounds of the hospital. The occasional beep or sound of rolling wheels from behind the double doors, or the wet coughing from the man.

"Where's the father?" Danielle asked, and I didn't answer for a moment, in awe of her straight-forwardness. I had the vague notion that I was supposed to be somewhat offended at her intrusive question. I wasn't.

"Not in the picture. I don't have any idea who he is." I said, watching her face for the shock. The pity. The disgust. Anything. She didn't react though.

"Must've been an ass then." She said calmly, her eyes turning to watch the man.

"I wouldn't know. They're not mine." I said quietly. She did react to that.

"Who?"

"Riddle and Ronan. They're not actually mine. My best friend got pregnant in high school. I helped out for the first six months. I've had them for maybe 8 months alone. What with college starting, it was difficult. It was different. But…I don't regret it. I couldn't have let them go into the system. They could've been separated or…not with me." I shrugged, my eyes on Ronan's face. His eyes were closed, his breaths heavy and hot against my chest.

"Well then you're braver than I originally thought." Danielle said, and when I looked she was smiling at me.

"Most people prefer the word ignorant." I responded, but I smiled.

"I like you Lily. You're a good person. We should be mates." She nodded to herself.

I had to chuckle.

"I would like that. But you said you're only visiting right? How much longer will you be here?" I asked.

"Only a few more days. But I'll make sure to come back for visits. And I will call you. And text you." She said.

"Come all the way back to America to visit a girl you only just met? Sounds awfully determined of you. Are you always so straight-forward?" I asked, rubbing Ronan's back. It was damp.

"Well, it's not very often that I meet people who treat me like a normal person." She said.

"You're famous or something aren't you? I knew I'd seen your face somewhere before."

"Yeah. I guess you could say that." She shrugged.

I really couldn't bring myself to look at her differently. So she was some sort of famous dancer. But she'd cleaned vomit off of Ronan's chin and made me a sandwich. She seemed pretty normal to me.

"Ms. Draven?" The nurse called and I stood up with Danielle. "The doctor will see you now."


	4. Chapter 4

Bacterial Sepsis. A blood infection.

We have to give them and I.V., the doctor said. They'll be fine, he said.

They didn't look fine. I bit my lip hard as I watched through the window as they inserted a needle into their arms. _Just antibiotics._ I reminded myself. But it didn't stop the tears from gathering behind my eyes. I rested my forehead against the glass and crossed my arms across my body, trying to soften the sobs.

"Hey now, none of that." Danielle said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm a bad mother." I cried, turning into her shoulder and pushing a hand against my mouth. My boys were sick. _My_ boys. Why hadn't I noticed something sooner? Why hadn't I been more careful?

"No." Danielle said simply. But I couldn't believe her right now. I drew in a shaky breath and pulled away, looking at her.

"This is such a weird day." I sighed, looking back through the window and running a hand over my eyes. "Awful day." I mumbled.

"Well now, that hurts my feelings." She tried to joke, but I could only give her a painful smile.

"You don't have to stay you know. I don't expect you to."

"I said we were friends didn't I? Now what kind of friend would I be if I left you in such a state?"

"A shitty one." I said, trying and failing once again to smile.

They looked so sad, their little faces scrunched and red and crying. They'd had to do a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. My head still pounded from their screams. That was a sound I would never forget or want to hear again.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me. I shook my head. "Yes you are. I'll be back." She said, and retreated down the hall. I watched her go and shook my head. When I got up this morning I never would have imagined the day going the way it had. But so was the life of a single mother of twins.

As I stood, looking at my boys chests fall up and down slowly, I tried to go through a checklist in my head. When I got them home I had to wash everything. I would have to sanitize the door handles. Their toys needed to soak in hot water. I would have to make sure, double sure, that they got their medicine every day. I turned around and slid down the wall, resting my arms against my legs and my head against my arms. The darkness helped me breath. The cool tile against my bottom helped me think.

"You all have to behave yourselves. I'm not joking. I hadn't really expected you to come here. Maybe you should go." I heard Danielle saying from down the hall. I raised my head and watched her slowly walking back towards me, speaking to a group of five boys, or maybe men and a woman. Great. Just what I needed.

"Danielle?" I asked, standing. "Who is this?" I asked, my eyes scanning the faces.

"Lily I'm sorry. I hadn't expected them to come here. They were just leaving." She said, giving them all a hard look.

"It's fine." I shrugged it off. If they were her friends she could have them here. She was here for me, a near stranger.

"Lily are you sure? I know this is hard and-"

"The distraction will do me good." I nodded, wiping at my cheeks, hoping there weren't tear tracks. That would just be pitiful.

"If you're sure…" She trailed off, searching my face. "Well then, this is my boyfriend, Liam." She pointed to a boy with darker hair and one of those faces that made you want to relax. "There's Zayn," okay that was mr. tall dark and handsome then. "Louis and Harry," She pointed to two other boys, with darker hair, although the one—Harry I think?—looked like he'd just stepped out of a wind tunnel. "Eleanor." She pointed to the woman who'd probably just stepped off a runway. But her face was kind, like Danielle's. The unassuming beauty that made it impossible to hate her. "And Niall." She pointed finally to the blonde with full cheeks and a smile that reminded me of a much simpler time.

"Lily," I greeted them, eyes still on that smile. Niall. That sort of rhymed.

"It's nice to meet you." Eleanor offered, looking in through the window. "Are they yours?" She asked, nodding at Ronan and Riddle. I nodded, turning towards the glass and breathing shakily. "They're beautiful." She said, offering me a smile that once more I could not return.

"What're their names?" The blonde one—Niall, I reminded myself firmly—asked. I noticed that his accent was different from Danielle's and Eleanor's.

"Riddle and Ronan. 14 months." I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself again.

"How old are you?" Liam asked, almost suspiciously. Danielle stepped up to me again and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Funny, how after so very little time she could tell how close I was to an all out breakdown.

"um…18." I said, my eyes still on the twins. Were they supposed to be breathing so quickly? Why was Ronan so red? I just didn't understand why the doctors hadn't fucking fixed this already.

"Ms. Darven?" A voice asked from behind me and I spun. It was the doctor. "May I speak with you for a moment?" He asked, eyeing the group of teenagers who were all standing by the glass. The exotic looking one was just staring in at the babies. So was Niall. They looked…well, part scared part fascinated.

"Yes." I said, reaching up and squeezing Danielle's hand before slipping out of her arms and over to the doctor. He led me part way down a hall before stopping.

"Now I don't wish to alarm you," my alarms went off. "But we think it's best if we keep your boys here for the night. We've caught the infection in time but we still don't want them at home where we can't be sure their condition doesn't worsen. After tonight we should be able to release them and we'll just have to write a prescription for some antibiotics for them to take for the next couple weeks." He said, slowly and softly, like someone speaking to a cornered animal.

"Um…I mean is it, is their condition bad?" I asked.

"It's a blood infection and they're very young. I won't lie to you, if you had waited any longer this would have been a lot more dangerous but like I said, you're lucky, we caught it in time and now it's simply a matter of eliminating the bacteria." He said.

I could only nod.

"They're going to be fine. I'd say go home and get some rest but I've dealt with worried mothers too many times to bother. We have a cafeteria and I can ask a nurse to maybe set up a cot in their room if you'd like." He said, placing a clammy hand on my shoulder.

"No, no, that's fine. I won't be able to sleep anyways." I said, pulling my sleeves down over my hands. They were sweating.

"All right." He nodded, squeezing my arm one last time before leaving.

No matter what he said about them being fine, my heart was still tight with worry. I breathed deep, trying to pull a sufficient amount of air into my lungs but my chest felt heavy and I placed my hands against the wall, trying to stop my head from spinning.

"Okay." I said to myself, breathing again. "Breathe. Breathe Lily. It's okay. It's okay. Breathe." I chanted, even as my breaths became shorter and quicker. More panicked.

"You Americans." Came a voice from behind me. I turned sharply. Danielle of course. "You panic so easily. The doctor said they'll be fine Lily. So you know what. They're going to be _fine_." She said, stepping forward to place her steadying hands on my shoulders.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I cried, realizing that tears were once again making their steady way down my cheeks. "What was I thinking taking them in? I'm not cut out of this. I can't do this. They're going to be so messed up." I sobbed, burying my face in her shoulder.

A stranger is a stranger, but a shoulder is also a shoulder. A shoulder isn't any more comforting on a family member.

"Stop it." She said, lightly pushing me off of her and digging in her purse. She hastily withdrew a tissue and wiped at my face, like I was a child. "You're doing a much better job than I ever could. Now, give me your keys." She said, holding out her hand.

I looked at her incredulously.

"I'm going back to your flat to get your books and a change of clothes for you. You're going to be here all night and you might as well get some studying done. Can't have you getting behind now can we?" She asked, patting my cheek.

"You're too nice." I said. "I don't trust it." I confessed.

"You don't have to. You just have to give me your keys and go back to staring at your boys, even though we both know it's not going to help anything." She shook her head, like she'd known me her whole life and knew my habits.

"Thank you." I said, and against every instinct that screamed at me to not trust her I handed over my keys. I was paranoid. It came with being a mother. And distress had made me foolish and easily persuaded.

"I'll be back soon. The others will keep you company. They're really a great bunch. Just let them distract you. You need it." She said, before retreating down the hallway. I took at least five minutes to gather myself before I followed after her, returning to my glass window that separated me from the two people who mattered most to me in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you want some?" Niall asked, sliding up to me and offering me a chip. I looked at it. Part of me knew I should be hungry. But my stomach was too tied up. I felt too sick.

"No thanks." I said, and for the first time managed to pull a half smile half grimace onto my face. It was that damn smile on his face that did it. It was one of those that made you smile back just because it was slightly ridiculous.

"What's wrong with them?" He asked, turning back to look at them, his eyes squinting as he studied their faces.

"Bacterial Sepsis. Blood infection." I repeated. And stupid me, I started tearing up again. I just couldn't help it. I was so scared; even though everyone kept telling me they were going to be fine. "I'm sorry." I muttered, holding a hand up to shield my eyes.

"Don't be. I'm sure, if they were mine, I'd be crying." He said, and I turned just enough to see him smiling at me. "Sure you don't want a chip?" He asked, offering them once more.

"Sure." I said, reaching into the bag carefully. The chip tasted like cardboard and made my tongue dry. I swallowed it anyways.

We stood there in silence for a while. Then watched as a nurse came in and gently removed the needle from Ronan's arm to replace it with another one. He woke up. I couldn't hear him through the glass but I watched his face scrunch, as he started screaming and crying. Then Riddle woke up. He started crying too. I watched their little mouths form the word ma over and over again.

I was crying again and I hated it. I hated this day. I hated this week. I wanted this to be over and to have my boys back home in our small apartment with their little glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. I wanted the chaos I _knew_ how to deal with.

I felt a weight over my shoulder and knew there was an arm there, slowly and gently pulling me against the side of a warm body. What was it with these foreigner's and caring about people they didn't know? This was so weird.

But I didn't really care. I take comfort where I can find it.

"See, crying really isn't so bad now." He said, and I felt his hand rub up and down my arms.

"I hate this." I said, sobbing for a good five minutes. And then I stopped. I pulled away and wiped at my face, reminding myself that everything was going to be fine. Blood infections didn't have to be as serious as they sounded. They were going to be fine. "Sorry." I said again, shaking my head at myself. I'd always been emotional.

"Don't be." He repeated, not taking his eyes from me. It made me self-conscious. So I turned my eyes back to my boys. They had begun to settle.

"Niall right?" I asked, confirming what I already knew.

"Yeah. Lily." He said, and though it wasn't a question I nodded anyways.

"So does Danielle usually offer friendship to every stressed woman she finds in a grocery store?" I asked, smiling.

"Well this is the first time it's happened."

"I must be special then, huh?"

"Must be."

We stood there for a while longer in silence. I felt my eyes start to droop. I looked at the clock. It was nearing two in the morning. I didn't realize how very long I'd been standing there.

"Aren't you all tired?" I asked, looking around and realizing the group had returned and we all stood at the window, watching my sons. It was strange, how concerned they seemed. Like they had somehow already grown attached. I liked to think my sons had that affect though. They were enchanting in sleep.

"Nah. We'll stay." Niall said, without consulting the rest of the group.

"Do you know who we are?" The exotic one suddenly asked. Za…Zack? No, that didn't sound right…whatever. It didn't matter.

"ummm…Niall…Liam?" I asked, and he nodded, smiling lightly.

"That's not what I meant." Zayn smiled. "We're all in a band. We're kind of…well, it's still weird to say it but I guess we're famous. One Direction. Have you heard of us?" He asked.

"No. And to be perfectly honest, I don't really care how famous you are at the moment. I mean no offense by that either. I just…I can't really process that information right now." I sighed, closing my eyes and resting my head against the glass. It wasn't as cool as I'd hoped it'd be.

"Of course." The one holding Eleanor's hand said, giving Zayn—yes that was it, Zayn!—a warning look.

And then we didn't talk until Danielle finally returned with my books and a change of clothes. And then she asked a nurse to find me the cot I had refused earlier and I moved into the boys' room, listening to the sound of their breathing and being comforted in the fact that it had slowed to a normal pace. It was steady. The room here didn't feel hot or smell as sick. It smelled too clean maybe.

I pulled out a book, and stared at the words, willing them to make some sort of sense.

At some point they must have started to, because before I knew it, I was looking up at the boys and realized I had gotten halfway through a chapter. Riddle was waking up slowly, softly gurgling.

I set my book to the side and walked over to him, stopping to use hand sanitizer first. I didn't want any germs on me when I touched him. I didn't want to risk anything.

"Hey baby," I smiled softly at him, watching as his eyes blinked into focus. He smiled, looking more awake and lucid than I had seen him that afternoon.

"Ma." He said, reaching out to pinch my face with his little fingers. "Ma. Joo. Joo." He continued, waving his arms and trying to roll so he could sit up.

"No." I said firmly, knowing there was no other way to get him to listen. "No Riddle. Stay still." I said, pointing to the I.V. rack. "You can't move."

"Joo" He said again, looking around like he might find his bottle of milk lying around.

"I'll see if you can have some milk, okay?" I asked him, pressing the nurse call button. I kept one hand on his chest though, when he kept trying to move.

"Ma. Ma. Ma." He started chanting, placing his hands over my eyes. I closed them, knowing he would end up poking them if I didn't.

"Yes. Mommy. Can you say _Ma-me_?" I asked

"Ma." He repeated, pulling his hands away from my face and smiling his toothy smile that I absolutely adored. Ronan's smiles were more rare. But they were also more explosive. If Ronan smiled he was probably laughing hysterically too, to the point of turning blue.

"Riddle." I said back to him, smiling a real smile for the first time all night.

"Ro. Ro. Ro." He said, looking at the crib next to his where Ronan was still sleeping. They both had small nicknames for each other, since they still couldn't say the full names.

"Ro is very tired isn't he? We have to let him sleep right? Nite-nite right? Sleepy time."

"Ro." He said, reaching his hand out to grab at the edge of his crib.

"No. Ro is sleeping." I said again. Riddle was the one most acquainted with the word no, simply because I had to repeat myself all the time with him.

At that moment a nurse walked into the room, keeping the lights off.

"Is there a problem?" She asked kindly, coming over to look down at Riddle and smiling.

"He was asking for milk, but I was wondering if he was allowed to have maybe a little cup of water or something and if he can sit up. He's not one for lying down." I smiled.

"I'll ask the doctor if he can have a little glass of water. He can sit up if he wants to. You just have to be careful with the I.V." She said, watching me as I helped him sit up in the shallow crib. He instantly grabbed onto my hand and started pulling my fingers apart.

"Thank you." I said, watching in fascination as his eyes traveled into the valleys of my fingers, his own fingers following not long after.

I heard the door close softly after her, the sliver of bright cold light from the hallway disappearing.

"Ma ma." He said, the words more closely run together than usual.

"Mama? Yeah Ri. Mama." I said, pointing at myself.

"La." He said, his hands falling over my mouth. "La. La. La."

"Okay, shhhh." I said, shushing him as his demand grew louder. "Let's see. How about…

_Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home  
Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home_

_I looked over Jordan and what did I see  
Comin' for to carry me home  
A band of angels comin' after me  
Comin' for to carry me home_

_Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home  
Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home_

_If you get to heaven before I do  
Comin' for to carry me home  
Tell all my friends I'm comin' there too  
Comin' for to carry me home_

_Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home  
Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home_

_I'm sometimes up and sometimes down  
Comin' for to carry me home  
But still I know I'm heavenly bound  
Comin' for to carry me_-"

The door opened quietly but the light alerted me to the disturbance. I quickly shut up.

"I brought a little cup of water for him." The nurse said, bringing over the glass. "You'll have to help him though." She said. She handed me the plastic cup, checked their I.V.'s and then retreated from the room, leaving me once again in the cool darkness.

"Here Ri." I said, gently guiding my mouth to the cup and helping him drink from it.

Some of the water dripped down his chin and he pushed it away, coughing lightly.

"You're okay." I soothed, rubbing his bare back. Both of them were only in diapers.

"Ma ma." He said, scooting forward on his butt before I pushed him back again, trying to find something in the room to entertain him with.

"Pat." I said, holding my hands up to him. He copied my actions, holding his hand up. "Ready?" I asked, slowly extending my right hand towards his right one. He leaned forward, his hand clumsily colliding with mine. "Patty cake," I said, continuing with the rhyme for as long as we both could stand. Eventually though, he tired of both patty cake and peek-a-boo. And the boredom was making him fussy.

"Knock knock." Came that accent I had finally placed—Irish—from the doorway.

"Hello." I said quietly, watching his silhouette turn and close the door behind him. I heard his footsteps in the room and soon enough I could see him, right next to the bed, gazing down at Riddle.

"Ah he's awake now." He said, and I swear I saw his smile even in the dark. It made Riddle laugh.

"Yeah. Awake and bored out of his mind." I said, reaching forward to tug on one of his fingers.

"Well you can hardly blame him. There's nothing to do here." He said. "Danielle fell asleep sitting in the hallway a little awhile ago. Liam just took her home."

"And so you're still here because?" I asked.

"I had nothing better to do." He shrugged, pulling two chairs over from a corner. I gladly sat down.

"Really? What, a famous musician like you had _nothing_ better to do?" I joked. He didn't answer. "I do appreciate it you know. You all being here. Even if I probably will never understand why and will never see any of you again. I'm grateful." I whispered, allowing Riddle to scoot to the edge of the crib.

"Well you don't have faith. Danielle is very determined to keep contact with you. I wouldn't doubt her." He said.

Riddle extended his hand towards the blonde, eyes curious in the way only a innocents can be. Niall began to reach towards him too before I reached out and grasped his wrist tightly.

"Sorry…it's just…hand sanitizer." I said, blushing and motioning towards the dispenser by the door.

"No of course…sorry." He mumbled, getting up and cleaning his hands before resuming his seat. "Hello there…Riddle?" He asked, looking at me. I nodded.

"Joo. Joo. Joo. Joo." He demanded, grabbing his finger and shaking it up and down.

"Here Ri." I said, grabbing the cup of water from the table and helping him drink.

"Joo is water?"

"Joo is any number of things. Usually it means milk. Sometimes it means I dropped my milk. Other times it means I need some sort of hydration." I said, laughing as Riddle sputtered slightly at the water, more running down to drip onto his chest.

"Well that must make working out what he's saying a bit difficult." Niall said, taking the cup back from me to put on the table.

"Not really. You just have to pay attention to how he says it. It's all about inflection." I smiled, watching as Riddle grabbed Niall's hand and resumed shaking it. "I think he's happy to meet you."

"Well Riddle I am pleased to meet you as well." Niall said, laughing. His laugh was as ridiculous as the rest of him. And I only meant that in the best sense possible. The best people I know are ridiculous.

"La." Riddle said, looking at me and slapping at my cheeks.

"Ah-ah, no slapping. No." I said, taking his hands away from my face and kissing them quickly. "Lie down." I said, helping him in his movements so that he didn't mess up his I.V.

"No." He said, eyes wide, like he didn't fully understand the meaning of the word.

"You don't say no to mommy. Try and sleep. Nite-nite time." I said, running my fingers through his hair. I was vaguely aware that Niall had moved, getting up from his chair to move to the place between the two cribs, eyes on me.

"Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma ma." Riddle said, reaching up towards me and then dissolving into incomprehensible sounds. He got lazy with his words when he was tired.

"Sleep Ri. Sleep." I said, continuing to lightly brush my nails over his scalp, remembering a time too early to exactly recall when my mother had done the same to me. It was a soothing sensation. One of comfort that still managed to work on me.

We just stood there for a while, watching as his eyes continue to travel hazily around the room until they eventually drooped closed, eyelashes resting gently against full cheeks.

"He's really quite beautiful." Niall's quiet voice broke the silence. Riddle moved slightly, and for a moment I was afraid he would wake up again, but he didn't. He slept on. "They both are." He continued.

"Thank you." I whispered back. "I wish I could say they were mine." I sighed, and I could feel his eyes snap up to my face.

"They aren't?"

I shook my head, moving around Riddle's crib to peek at Ro. He was sleeping, but his face was still red, and I could tell just by looking that he was warm. Probably still hot to the touch.

"I'm their mommy. I'm just not their mother." I said. Standing next to this strange and apparently famous boy who had decided to sit through this ordeal with me. Life was certainly strange. "My best friend made a mistake. She couldn't handle the consequences." I said, thinking of Ali.

We didn't really talk anymore.

I still needed to call her though.

"And so you had to?" Niall asked.

"Wanted to." I corrected quickly. "I didn't get saddled with them. I wanted them. I still want them. I love them, and I they're still my sons. Just not…"

"By blood." He finished, and I nodded.

"I need to call their mother though. She'll want to know what's going on." I said.

This was a hospital, but I was still reluctant to leave my sons in the presence of a stranger. He seemed to sense my hesitancy, because he walked to the door first and held the door open for me before following me out.

"Thank you." I said, pulling my phone out of my purse. He stood near the door, leaning against a wall with his hands tucked under his arms.

"I'll be here." He said. "Take your time."


	6. Chapter 6

"Ali?" I asked, the name seemed bittersweet against my tongue. I hadn't forgotten the years and years of friendship between us. But she hadn't forgotten that I had been more equipped to raise her children than she had.

"Lily?" She asked, her voice scratchy and slow with sleep. "It's…four in the morning." She stated, the question for why I was calling not needing to be asked.

"Riddle and Ronan are in the hospital." I said, before hurrying to explain further. No need to cause unnecessary worry. "They're fine, they just had a bacterial infection. The doctors wanted to keep them overnight because they're so young and had a fever. They'll just need some antibiotics after they're released tomorrow. I just thought you might want to know." I said, and I tried to keep my voice light.

There was still an edge to it though.

Another thing I couldn't forget was that she hadn't asked to visit her sons since she'd signed over custody to me.

"Oh…" She said, her breath coming out in a sigh that was both worried and conflicted. "Do you…do you need me to come down there?" She asked.

A year ago it wouldn't have been need. It would have been want.

"No, no, it's fine. I just wanted to let you know. I thought you should hear it form me first." I said, not knowing who else would've told her anyways.

"Oh well…thank you. They're fine though, right?" She asked.

"They're fine. Just a little cranky." I responded. The silence that descended afterwards was full of words she wanted to say but never word. Bitter resentment and long-standing affection that refused to fade.

"I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll call if anything changes." I said quickly, barely hearing her response before I hung up, hating the weight that fell into my stomach after every phone call I made to her.

I missed her.

I didn't have the mental strength to do it right now though, so I shoved the feelings aside and walked back to the room.

I'd think about it tomorrow.

"How'd it go?" Niall asked immediately upon my return, slowly opening the door and allowing me back into the room. Now apparently it was Ronan's turn to be awake.

"She sounded worried." Was all I said. Because really what else had happened? I couldn't very well tell him about all the subtext that had passed during those silences.

"He's waking up." He said, pointing to Ro, like he somehow knew this wasn't a subject I was comfortable discussing with strangers. Even strangers who waited up all night in a hospital room with other strangers.

"You know this isn't normal right?" I asked him as I approached the crib, reaching down to run a finger over Ronan's cheek. "You being here I mean. It isn't a normal thing for stranger's to do."

"I'm not a normal stranger though."

"But you are just a normal person." I said, smiling when Ronan calmed at my touch, blinking his eyes sleepily up at me, lethargic and crusty.

"Yes." He agreed, moving to stand closer to the crib, watching. "So I guess it'd make sense for me to be enchanted by these boys huh?" He asked, as Ro's eyes flickered to him, unrecognizing but immediately trusting. "I can only assume that all people do."

"Only the smart ones." I joked.

"Ma." Ronan started. "Mama." He said again, and my heart squeezed in my chest. He was a smart kid; quicker to stand and quicker to take his first wobbly, steps holding onto the couch but also the more reserved of the two. While Riddle demanded attention in everything he did Ronan simply stood back and waited for someone to notice his feats. Patient, one might say if he wasn't just a toddler.

"Yes Ro. Mama's right here. This is Niall." I said, pointing to the blonde now standing very close to my side, leaning over the crib with me. I felt the heat of his body against my torso. I tried not to react.

"Hello Ro." He said, not bothering with the full name.

"Mama." Ronan said eyes moving away from the stranger and back to me. He reached up, very slowly, and very softly touched my hands.

"Ronan are you feeling any better?" I asked. "The boo boo is going to go away. You're going to be all better. We'll go home tomorrow okay?"

"Oh. Oh. Oh." He said, his mouth forming the shape dramatically, spit making his lips shiny.

"Yes oh." I smiled, watching his eyes drift closed again. Fighting the infection made him weak. He was doing a good job of fighting it off though, his hands still holding mine.

"mhmhmmm." He grunted, and I knew, even with how indecipherable it was to most people that he wanted a song. Just because Ronan and Riddle were twins didn't mean they had the same words—or rather sounds—for things.

"Um…He wanted a song." I said. I wasn't going to not do it because we had company it was just…slightly embarrassing.

"I can uh…I can go if you-"

"No it's fine I'm just…not very good. So…you know, don't judge me mr. rockstar." I said, turning back to the crib and very carefully keeping my eyes on Ronan's face. "_Lavender's blue,  
Lavender's green  
When I am King,  
you shall be Queen_

_Call up your man,  
Set them to work  
Some to the plough,  
Some to the fork_

_Lavender's blue,  
Lavender's green  
When you are King,  
I shall be Queen_

_Call up your man,  
Set them to work  
Some to the plough,  
Some to the fork._

_Lavender's blue,  
Lavender's green  
When I am King,  
you shall be Queen."_

Niall didn't say anything for a minute after I was done, waiting to be sure Ro had fallen back to sleep.

"I remember my mum singing me that song." He said, and I didn't have to turn to know he was smiling. I could just tell, he was one of those boys that always smiled.

"Yeah well…Ro's a traditionalist." I said, moving back towards the wall and sinking down onto the cot. "You can sit here if you want. I'm sure it's more comfortable." I offered him. He didn't protest, instead just taking a seat beside me and grabbing one of my books from beside him.

"What're you studying?" He asked, looking at the Anatomy book.

"Pre-med." I said. His eyes widened, but other than that there was no reaction. I was grateful for that.

"Do you have a class tomorrow?" He asked, looking at the pile of notes and notebooks that I had piled on the floor. I sighed and looked at the cribs.

"I did."

I'm not sure when exactly I fell asleep, but when I next blinked it felt later. Or rather, early in the morning and when I glanced at the clock I realized it was 7:09. Well.

I glanced beside me, understanding that I must've fallen asleep with my head against Niall's shoulder, but I couldn't really bring myself to care.

Not long after the doctor came in, turning the lights on and moving over to check on the boys. Niall woke up then too, moving to stand next to me as the doctor checked all the numbers and took pulses.

"Well, I think you can take them home today. I'll have the nurse bring you the release forms. Here," He said, writing something on a piece of paper. "Is a prescription for an antibiotic. It's very important that they get it when they should. We'll have a follow-up appointment in about another week. If their fever comes back you should bring them back though. Even if they just have an unusual appetite. Anything that seems off, have them back here as soon as you can. We don't want to take any chances." He said, handing the forms over to me.

"Of course. And thank you, again." I said,

We finally got checked out at 10 in the morning, and not surprisingly, Niall helped me carry the boys to the car, one hand gently caring Riddle, his hands curled gently into his shirt, and the other carrying a neat pile of books.

"Thank you," I said, after we had buckled them in and shut the car door. "Really just…thank you. Tell Danielle I'll never be able to understand or repay her for her kindness. And I guess tell the other guys thanks too. For staying as long as they did, even without having any idea who I was." I smiled, watching him walk around the car.

"Of course." He said, stopping in front of me.

And for one terrifying moment I thought he was going to kiss me.

And while I wasn't opposed to the idea of kissing someone as handsome as him, I hadn't brushed my teeth all night and I had two sick toddlers to get home.

But he didn't kiss me. Instead he took my hand gently, and placed a kiss over my knuckles, a gesture that was so achingly archaic that it probably caused my heart to stutter more than it should have.

"It was lovely to meet you, Lily." He said.

And then he walked away, back towards the bus stop. I almost called out to him, offered to drive him back to where he was staying, but some part of me knew that that would drag this out too long.

The strange encounter was meant to end here, my logical side told me.

And I'd be lying if I said I ever expected to see or hear from him or Danielle again.


	7. Chapter 7

"You're a rotten friend, did you know that?" Asked the voice on the other end of the phone, and even though I had heard it for a grand total of one day, I knew who it was.

"Danielle?" I asked, my eyes flying wide as I turned to look at the clock. It was 7 o'clock in the morning. The first day of Spring Break.

"Yes _Lily_, Danielle. I can't believe you let Liam take me out of that hospital. You weren't uncomfortable with just the rest of them there were you? I told them to just be nice and-"

"No, no it was fine. They all left after a while. Niall stayed the whole time though. He was perfectly…um, charming." I said, desperately searching for a word that wasn't 'attractive' or 'alluring'. Because you just don't say those kinds of things.

"Oh charming huh? Yes I suppose he can, on occasion be comforting company to keep. But anyways I called to say I'm sorry for not saying goodbye. We're in California right now. The boys have a concert. But, I also wanted to tell you that you should look up their interview from about a day ago. I think you'll find it quite interesting." She said, speaking rapidly. Or maybe it just sounded rapid because I was still blinking sleep from my eyes and fumbling with the coffee maker.

"Um…okay. I mean, I'm on spring break so I have the time now." I sighed, relieved. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a good cup of coffee.

"Oh that's good! How're the boys though? Still adorable? Healthy? Growing?" She asked, and I could hear her moving around, and then there were voices in the background.

"Oh yeah. I'm just glad it's over. I hate when they're sick. They finished their medicine last week." I sighed, as I heard both of them starting to wake up. "Um, can you hold on for a second, I have to go get them out of their cribs."

"Yeah sure no problem. I want to speak with them anyways."

I didn't bother being confused. My life was weird. Famous people boy band member and their girlfriends befriended me and sat with me in a hospital. I just couldn't bring myself to be bewildered anymore. I just accepted it.

"Sure." I said, and set the phone down, walking back into their room. Riddle was standing in the crib, hands grabbing the bars as his legs barely stretched up and down so that he was bouncing. "Hello there early bird." I smiled, pulling him out of his crib and setting him on the ground. He crawled out the door immediately into the living room.

I turned to the other rib, where Ronan sat, shaking his blanket up and down.

"Ma. Joo." He said quickly as I set him on the ground as well.

"Okay. Go play. I'll get you something. Juice or milk?" I asked, looking him in the eyes, as if visual contact would help him understand me.

"Moo." He said, using the side of his crib to stand up and wobbling out the door. I followed him closely, always nervous with the hardwood floors.

"Close enough," I muttered, turning to the kitchen and grabbing the phone off the counter again as soon as I saw Ro seated on the carpet contently banging a car against the ground. "Hello?" I asked, opening the fridge and pulling out the milk, filling two cups since I knew once Riddle saw Ro with milk he'd want some as well.

"Yeah, are they up?" Danielle asked, her voice slightly muffled as I held the phone between my shoulder and ear, agilely pouring the liquid without any stray drops hitting the counter.

"Yep. Up and banging toys around in the living room. I swear it's like as soon as they're up, they're _up_."

"Awww, well let me speak to them" She demanded as I screwed the lids onto the bottles and walked into the room, watching their eyes light up instantly at the cups in my hands.

"I don't know if they'll say much other than joo, moo, and la but you can try." I said, laughing as I handed a bottle to each of them. They promptly plopped onto the ground and started sucking away, kicking at stray blocks with their feet. "Hey Ro, you want to talk to Danielle?" I asked, and he shook his head and rolled away from me, lying on his back and staring up at the fan. "Riddle?" I asked, and, as I knew he would, my much more outgoing son snatched the device from my hand and began babbling and spitting excitedly into the mouthpiece.

Yes, it seemed the drool had stuck around. Wonderful.

I could hear Danielle's patient responses on the other end but knew she would soon be growing tired of the nonwords.

"Okay Riddle, give the phone back to mommy." I said, holding my hand out.

"No!" He shouted loudly, falling onto his back.

"Riddle, don't tell mommy no. Phone. Now, please." I said, my face dropping it's smile and sliding into the stern mother look I had perfected over the last few months.

He dropped it near my hand before resuming his play with the bright blocks scattered all over the room. I'd given up trying to keep the place clean ages ago.

"Danielle," I said, more of a question than anything else.

"Yeah still here. He's a little trouble-maker isn't he?" She asked, and I could hear a smile on the edge of her tone.

"Oh yes. He likes to talk back already. Ro's just a sweet-heart though. Shy, but he always listens."

"Well, it's a shame I didn't get to fully appreciate their personalities when I met you. You're on spring break now aren't you? More free time?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'll actually be able to catch up on my studying now and have some time to lie around and do nothing. For once. It'll be weird."

"Well, I don't know about nothing. I've been trying to convince Liam to let me stop by on our way back to England for a few days. I have to become better acquainted with you before we become long distance friends." She said, and it would be a lie to say I wasn't shocked.

Were all Europeans so spontaneous? Or was it just her?

"Of course Liam wants to come with me and so then naturally the boys will want to come too. I told them they weren't allowed to visit you though, unless you asked them over, which I don't at all expect you too-"

"No, no that's fine. I haven't had company in…well, ever. When would you get in?" I asked, moving to look at my calendar. Like I was actually going to have anything planned.

"Probably Tuesday evening, before supper."

"Well, if you're up to it, you could just come here to eat." I shrugged, looking around my rather small apartment. Not exactly fit for entertaining guests but… "I mean you'll be feasting on cheap spaghetti and kool-aid but it's edible. Mostly." I joked.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"It's the least I can do. After you all came to the hospital for a stranger. And besides, it's not every day I have the pleasure of inviting a famous boy band into my house."

"Well, when you put it that way, how could I refuse?" She laughed. "I'll call you before we leave Monday night, and then when we land on Tuesday. I'll need your address again anyways."

"Of course. I'll talk to you then." I said. There was a crash from the living room. "Riddle? Ro?" I called out.

"Joo!" Riddle's voice rang out. Well, that was a different inflection than usual.

"Danielle I have to go, I'm sorry. Bye!" I shouted, and hung up quickly, rushing into the living room to find milk spilled all over the carpet.

"Riddle!" I shouted, recognizing the colour of the cup. "Did you do this?" I asked, standing him up and pointing at the mess. His clothes were wet.

His lip trembled.

"Okay. No more milk in the living room. You have to drink it in the kitchen from now on." I sighed, picking him up and carrying him into the bathroom. I filled the tub, rushing back to the living room to throw a towel down on the rug. It was going to have to be washed or it'd smell like spoiled milk.

"Riddle," I asked carefully, having taken Ro to his high chair with his glass. "Did you do that by accident?" I asked, helping him pull his clothes off. "Huh?"

"Ma ma. Joo. Joo." He cried loudly. Well, not cried. There were no tears. He was just whining.

"You can have more milk after your bath." I said, placing him in the shallow water and quickly running a cloth over his stomach before pouring a small stream of water over his head. He squirmed away from the washcloth.

"Riddle, stop." I said, holding him steady by the shoulder. "Just let me wash you and then you can have more milk, okay?" I asked, and he stilled, sitting and splashing in the water as I quickly cleaned him.

I pulled up the drain, listening as water began to swirl away and I pulled him out, wrapping him in a towel and picking him up, carrying him to the room.

"You can pick out your clothes for today, okay? I'm going to get Ro." I said, walking back to the kitchen were Ronan was seated quietly, a drop of milk dangling from his chin. "Ready to get dressed bud?" I asked, lifting him high before settling him on my hip.

"Ma ma."

"Yes I know your brother just causes all kinds of trouble doesn't he?" I asked kindly, remembering to smile. There really was no use crying over spilled milk. I reentered the room to find Riddle surrounded by shirts.

"Are we doing the no pants dance today?" I asked, setting Ronan down and making quick work of putting a diaper on Riddle. "I think that's a good idea. Who needs pants anyways?"

When they had finally settled in front of the TV with washable crayons, colouring books and Telly-Tubbies, I decided that now was as good a time as ever to look up this interview.

Except when I typed in one direction and the yesterday's date, what came up instead was a…twitcam video? _Twit cam._ I thought, rolling my eyes and clicking it anyways. _The things kids think up these days._

I watched, eyebrows pulled together in complete bafflement as Niall and…Liam—yes Liam, it's not that hard to remember—appeared on the screen. I suppose I was meant to be paying attention to what they were saying but I could only focus on Niall. The way his lips moved, floating over words in a way I couldn't help but find beautiful.

_Good job. You are officially pathetic. Congratulations Lily, you are one of the 5 million girls to think Niall is attractive. Would you like a medal? _I thought to myself, forcing myself to snap out of it.

"Danielle wants me to say hi and apparently wants me to say I love her." Liam suddenly said, glancing down at his phone before leaning close towards the camera. "Weirdo, weirdo, curly-haired weirdo." He said, shaking his head.

"Danielle….smells." Niall added helpfully. "And that rhymed."

"Oh no wait, now here is the real important part, Danielle also wants me to say hello to Lily. Hi Lily!" Liam shouted, looking up from his phone to smile. "And…Hi Riddle and Ronan!" He continued. Niall was staring over his shoulder at the screen of the phone. He suddenly glanced back at the camera like he'd only just realized it was there.

"Oh, I want to say hello as well. Hello Lily! Tell the boys I said hello, and I hope they're feelin' better. Oh, and remember what I said about Danielle being determined. Don't doubt that woman." He warned, waving a finger at the camera. "Also-"

"All right Niall enough! Why don't you just go…pick up a phone and, and dial her number and tell her all about your life and then have her babies!" Liam exaggerated, throwing his arms wildly to somewhere off-screen. Niall's face scrunched in confusion and amusement.

"How would I have _her_ babies?"

"Shh." Liam hushed him quickly. And that was where I needed to turn off the video.

Because Liam and Niall, two of the most loved British boys probably in the world were sitting there, on a video that had been viewed thousands of times, talking about me. Me, and my little make-shift family. It was…surreal, to be honest. Like something from a dream.

A strange ass dream, but a dream nonetheless.

"Well boys," I said, looking over at Ronan and Riddle. "It looks like you have some fans."

Only a day later I would find a magazine with Niall and Liam's face on the cover. A screen-shot from their twitcam with the large print on the cover, "Who is Niall's mystery flower?"

Really, it wasn't very clever at all. Lily. A flower. Ha. Ha.

I bought it anyways. And after I'd read the article speculating about who I might be and who exactly, "the boys" were, I slipped it safely into a box underneath my bed, where I kept all things I couldn't bring myself to throw away, but was too embarrassed to leave lying around.


	8. Chapter 8

I wasn't nervous. I was a grown woman—18 counted, thankyouverymuch—who could juggle school and two twin boys. I could totally handle one night of dinner guests without making a fool of myself.

"Up! Up! Up! Up!" Ronan had learned a new word this week. Riddle had caught on quickly.

"I can't right now Riddle. Mommy is cooking. Go play with your brother." I said, pointing to the living room where the sounds of falsely happy cartoon characters radiated from. Had I ever actually enjoyed that as a child? Now it seemed so very…patronizing.

"Up! Ma." He tried to jump towards my arms but instead just stumbled and fell onto my feet. He was enthusiastic. Just not very coordinated.

"Riddle," I said, not really knowing what I was going to say to him, just that I was trying to stir the spaghetti sauce in and the bowl was too far away for me to reach with him on my feet. "Up." I said, watching him roll away from me, arms landing above him on the floor.

"Moo." He said, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He was so demanding.

"One second Riddle." I said warningly.

"Moo!" He screamed, sitting up and walking over to the fridge. He then began to pound on it with his hands. "Moo!"

"Riddle, that's enough. I'll give you your milk in just a second." I said, hearing the slow, careful sound of two bare feet coming towards the kitchen. Ro appeared from around the corner and looked over immediately to Riddle, walking over and putting his arms around him in what I knew was their version of a hug.

"Ri," Ronan huffed, squeezing him, his face smashing into the back of Riddle's head.

"See? Go play with your brother, I'll bring you your milk." I said, pouring the spaghetti into a large bowl. It would have to do.

At that very moment there was a sharp knock at the door. Riddle was the first to run for it, with Ronan right on his heels.

"Coming!" I shouted, taking my time to make sure the boys didn't fall and break their heads in their rush to see people who weren't me. It was understandable. We didn't get out much. They got restless.

I swung the door open, pulling Riddle back by his collar before he could trip over the door jam. He was so klutzy it was painful to watch sometimes.

"Lily!" Danielle shouted, pulling me into a hug as if I was some old friend she hadn't seen in years. It was sort of nice, actually, to be accepted so quickly and so graciously into their ragtag family.

"Hello Danielle." I laughed, pulling away and opening the door wider for them. "The spaghetti just got done so we'll-"

"Moo!" Riddle shouted, turning towards me, remembering his earlier demand.

"Yes Riddle. Milk. Okay? I'm going." I sighed. "You can all come in." I waved them inside. I didn't know British formalities. Was I supposed to curtsey? Do some sort of jig? Offer them tea?

I instead decided to just go get Riddle a cup of milk. He eagerly took it from me, sticking it in his mouth and wandering back to the living room without another word. Ronan, on the other hand, had taken an interest in Niall's leg. His arms were curled around his calf, his bottom resting on the top of his shoe.

"Ro," I said, shaking my head at him.

"Ah he's fine." Niall waved me off, looking down and waving. Ronan buried his face into his leg. "I think he likes me."

"He must." I said, walking closer to look down at my son curiously. "He's usually very shy."

And then before I knew what was happening I was being pulled into a very warm, very full hug with Niall, my face buried in his neck as he squeezed my back. It took me a few awkward seconds to hug back.

When I pulled away and was faced with that ridiculous smile, I was forced to laugh. Really, I had no choice in the matter.

"It's good to see you again Niall."

"And you. I must be honest though," He said, reaching down to gently pry Ronan off his leg, only to pull him up to hold him against his hip. "I really only came back for these two."

"Well then I can't say I'm surprised." I smiled, reaching over to gently tug at Ronan's nose with my fingers.

"Lily do you want us to help you set the table?" Danielle asked, walking out of the kitchen. Only then did I realize that everyone had moved into the living room, to talk or just watch Riddle play.

"Actually we're just going to use paper plates." I said. "I'm afraid I haven't used a real dish since I got the boys. I think I actually forgot how to wash them."

"Well nonsense. I'll help her set the table. _And_ I'll wash the dishes, since I was the one who said we should use them." Niall cut in, offering me Ronan, who desperately clutched at his neck instead of going over to me.

It didn't hurt my feelings. Nope. Not at all. No jealousy here.

"I'll help Danielle, you can just hold him." I tried to shrug it off, and went to help her set the table.

"I saw the video." I said, smiling and speaking loud enough to be heard over the clatter of plates and silverware.

"Oh so you heard my shout-out then?" She asked, and laughed herself.

"Yes. But for some reason I have the vague impression that you had ulterior motives in getting me to watch that." I said slyly, carefully avoiding her eyes as I lined up the knives perfectly.

"Oh really?" She asked. She was a terrible actress though. Awful liar. "Well…Niall is certainly _charming_ isn't he?" She asked, and I quickly glanced around, noticing that no one else was in the room but feeling my face heat regardless.

"I knew it!" I hissed at her.

"Well he just seemed very taken with you. I was wondering what happened at that hospital."

"Oh god, _nothing_ happened. I sat there a worried mess all night practically on the verge of tears the whole time and he sat with me." I rushed to explain, my face growing warmer than I'd ever thought possible.

"That certainly sounds like something to me. Besides, I don't know why it's such a big deal. What if he wants to get to know you? What could be bad about that?"

"I can think of several things." I tried to warn her away from the topic.

_She's determined, that woman._ Niall's voice echoed in my head and I had to resist the urge to cringe.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Like the fact that I come with quite a lot of baggage." I said, hating referring to my boys that way but knowing that that's what they would be to any other teenager. "Or the fact that you'll all be leaving to go back to _England_ in a few days?"

"I didn't say you had to get married." She rolled her eyes, walking past me and shoving my shoulder lightly. "I just said there wouldn't be anything strictly bad about getting to know him."

"I know…but it's not gonna happen. Can we just…get everyone else and eat some spaghetti now?" I sighed, giving her a pleading look. She agreed with possibly the most exaggerated sigh I've ever heard.

"Yes, yes, we'll get everyone."

Dinner was a surprisingly pleasant affair even though most of the time I was trying to keep the twins from throwing their food. Table manners were something they were having a particularly hard time grasping.

"Riddle," I warned, as his picked up a handful of spaghetti, eyes trained on Louis. I had finally managed to get all of their names down. "No. Eat your food."

"I really don't know how you do it." Zayn said from my right, pulling his eyes away from the twins to look at me. There was something very…calm about him. I mean I'd heard his raucous laughter earlier when he was in the living room but around me—a stranger—he seemed almost shy.

"With lots of tears, messes, spilled milk and black coffee." I laughed, watching warily as Riddle began to pound his cup against his high chair top. He was just not very hungry.

"We only ever really get to interact with one baby. One of our make-up artists kids. Lux." He went on to explain, and I was grateful that he was trying to bring me into conversation.

"Oh yeah? How old is…she?" I assumed.

"Yeah. She's about 11 months–"

"Ahh that's a good age." I smiled. Ronan started whining and I glanced up to find Riddle trying to take food from Ro's plate. "Riddle, no."

"No!" He shouted back at me. Stern mother face time.

"One…two…" His hand retreated. "Anyways," I sighed, turning back to Zayn. "It's wonderful when they're that age because they don't cry all the time but they also haven't fully grasped how to say the word no yet." I chuckled.

"No!" Riddle shouted, only this time it wasn't directed at me, but at Ronan, who was attempting to reach over to Niall and grab his hand.

"Riddle, be nice." I warned again. He was being difficult. Again. I knew it was a stage. We would soon be approaching the terrible two's. It was only to be expected.

"No!"

"Hey there," Niall said softly, reaching over the tug Riddle's earlobe. "It's not nice to tell your mummy no." And then he proceeded to shake Ro's hand.

I wasn't sure if conversation at the table stopped at his words or if I just couldn't focus on anything else because suddenly all sound stopped. He'd sounded so…sincere when he'd said that. So comfortable. Like he…and it was strange to say it so soon but I said it anyways—like he was a father. Like they were his.

"Lily?" Zayn's voice pulled from my thoughts and the world rushed back into my head with a sound like rushing air.

"What?" I asked, blinking stupidly at him. I pointedly ignored the fact that I was almost definitely sure Niall had been staring back at me the whole entire time I'd been looking at him.

I brought new clarity to the word mortified.

"I asked what you were studying at university."

"Pre-med." Niall offered from across the table. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. So I settled for his plate as I nodded bashfully.

"Wow. A doctor then?" Zayn asked. I could only nod and hope my face wasn't red. I hated when people acted like it was such a big deal. Any idiot could take the classes. It was getting into medical school that was the hard part.

"It's uh…it's really not a big thing. I just…I'm good at science and…well, kids are kind of my thing. Obviously. A pediatrician just seemed like the logical aspiration."

"And you already have the vocabulary of a scholar." Danielle said, raising her glass to me. I didn't mention that aspiration really wasn't that great of a word.

"So, what are you all planning on doing while you're here?" I asked the table. The whole table. I had absolutely no desire to only hear what Niall planned to be doing. I was totally interested in the plans of the group as a whole. No favoritism here.

"What do you mean? We'll be letting you show us the sights of course as we assist you in your never-ending battle to keep track of two young boys." Danielle said, smiling to let me know she would be joking if I needed her to be.

But I didn't.

"Are you sure there's nothing else you'd rather do? I really am a recluse. A hermit, you could even say. I don't…well I don't get out much."

"Well then we can discover the city together!" Louis cheered. I noticed the very obvious absence of Eleanor. I did not comment on it.

"I would be glad to discover the city with you." I smiled, nodding to him.

"We could go to a park or something tomorrow morning. Take some coffee and let them play around. I mean, if you wanted to I mean. They might not be, you know…allowed." Liam suggested, almost like he didn't want to tell me what to do with my kids. Which I mean, he obviously shouldn't but he wasn't so much commanding as asking. These boys, they really were very odd in their mannerisms.

"That sounds good to me. Where are you all staying?" I asked, setting my fork down.

"The Holiday Inn on Roland." Harry said.

"Oh, okay. Well then…I can meet you all there at, say 9? Or is that too early?"

"Nine is fine."

"Hey that rhymed." Niall said, and I chuckled. Because it was funny. Not because he was cute. Funny. Not cute.

"Ma! Joo!"

"Dropped it." Niall said, bending down and picking up the cup and handing it back to Riddle.

"Thank you."

"Down!" Riddle shouted, and soon his demand was joined by Ronan's.

"Can you say please?" I asked, although I was already getting up and moving over to get them out of their chairs. There was only so much hope I could have for their manners.

"Down!" They continued to shout. I rolled my eyes but obeyed anyways, watching as they ran into the living room, back to shoving shaped blocks of wood into a bucket. How it entertained them I would never know.

Niall stayed in the kitchen with me to help wash the dishes. Everyone else moved into the living room to talk about things probably very interesting and British that I couldn't understand.

And Niall and I fell into a comfortable pattern of washing and drying plates that shouldn't have been possible between two people who knew so little of each other but it happened anyways.

It wasn't until we were nearly done, the last fork being wiped dry and put away that he spoke.

"You're quite extraordinary." He said suddenly, turning to rest against the sink. I didn't so much freeze as stutter to a stand-still, my hand awkwardly halfway out of the drawer and my head down.

"Um…thank you." I whispered. Because it's not everyday that an attractive boy stands in your kitchen and tells you that you're extraordinary.

"Can I know you?" He asked, some underlying implications to the question that I very closely examined. My mind instantly flashed to the magazine that was still tucked safely under my bed.

To know Niall Horan wasn't a small thing. It meant I would be known by his loyal fans by simple association. And I wasn't sure if I could handle that.

Could I? Could I take more articles linking me to One Direction?

Well. I hadn't been taking care of two little boys for this long to start backing down in the face of intimidation. I refused to be daunted by the threat of the public eye. I was not ashamed. I was not afraid.

And I wanted him to know me.

"If you want." I said, turning to face him, my hip sliding the drawer shut as I leaned against the counter. "I mean by the end of the week you'll be half-way around the world. And I'm not the easiest person to know. I have school."

"That's why I'm so fond of telephones."

"I'm a teenage mother."

"I'm part of a famous band." He responded with.

"I'm not known for doing anything in moderation."

"Neither am I."

"I think this could be a bad idea. Not for me, but for you."

"I think we should just wait until we know each other before we make up our minds about that."

"I think this is crazy." I breathed.

"I think you're absolutely right."

"I think we should go into the living room with everyone else before I do something terribly hasty like try to kiss you." My head pounding with the blood that rushed to my face. When had my life turned into a badly written young adult fiction novel?

"Let's go then."


	9. Chapter 9

"This is nice." I sighed, leaning my head back and letting the Sun warm my face. It was nice that, for at least for one day, it felt like Spring Break.

"The weather isn't like this over in England." Niall quipped from beside me.

"I bet it's cloudy. It was always cloudy and depressing in the Harry Potter movies. I was always saying, 'Well of course Harry is sad! Look at those clouds!'" I said absent-mindedly, my eyes on the twins. They were sitting by the jungle gym, having given up on getting up the stairs, playing with the mulch. Paul, the body guard who had insisted on coming with us, watched them carefully, eyes scanning the park every once and a while.

"Interesting theory." Niall chuckled, and only then did I realize I had just word vomited.

"Sorry. Word vomit." I said, watching his eyebrow shoot up and his whole body turn towards me. "Sorry. Mean Girls reference." I laughed.

"Mean Girls?" He asked.

"The movie of my generation. Everyone I've ever met who's my age has seen it. I guess you wouldn't though. Being…you know…Irish." I said, getting up and setting my coffee down. "Sorry be right back." I hurriedly told him, rushing over to Riddle and grabbing his hand before he could insert the mulch into his mouth.

"Ma" He shouted directly, as I pried his hand open and forced him to drop the mulch, the little pieces falling in quick succession back onto the ground.

"Riddle you can't eat this." I said, holding up a single piece and showing him. "This is bad to eat." I held it close to my mouth and shook my head. "Don't eat it okay?" I asked, and then showed Ronan the same. He just resumed hitting the mulch with his hands, watching the pieces bounce up randomly.

"Do you think they're hungry?" A voice asked from behind me and I jumped lightly, turning to find Paul standing there. "Sorry." He shrugged, crouching down beside me.

"Oh no, it's fine. I just didn't hear you." I waved him off, smiling. From the very little I'd seen of him I knew he cared about the boys. And he seemed…I don't know. Fatherly. More protective and responsible than my father had ever been.

That reminded me that I needed to call my parents. Update them on my life.

But that could wait. Today was too nice.

"I think they might be though." I said, reaching over to brush hair out of their eyes. "He's getting all fidgety." I said, nodding to Riddle, who kept pulling at his shirt. "Umm was there any where you guys specifically wanted to go?" I asked, helping them both stand up and taking their hands as they stepped over the plastic ledge that separated the play place from the rest of the park.

"We'll go wherever you want." Paul said, smiling that father smile.

"Oh, well…let's go…" I trailed off. Where do you take a famous boy band for breakfast? "Denny's." I said, nodding. _Oh good Lily._ I thought, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. _Really classy._

"Denny's it is then." He said, reaching down a hand to steady Riddle when he almost tripped over his own feet. "Let's go you lot! These little tykes need to eat!" Paul shouted out to the group sitting at the table and they were all instantly in motion. I bit down on the smile attempting to break through on my face.

They were like little kids, instantly obeying Paul's orders.

"Paulie where will we be dining this fine morning?" Louis asked, walking up to sling an arm around his shoulders. Eleanor was once again not present. I wondered if she'd even come back with them, or had decided to return to England.

"Denny's." He said.

"Here, let me help you," Danielle said, walking up and taking Riddle's hand from me. He looked up at her, back at me, and smiled that bright happy smile.

"That's Danielle." I said, pointy to the curly haired brunette. "You remember her?" I asked.

"Ma." He said, reaching back to me and taking my hand in his other one.

"What, making a cute line of people holding hands and not inviting me?" Niall asked as we came up on the other side of Ronan, taking his other hand. I smiled and this time I did roll my eyes.

We were half-way across the park when Ronan suddenly let go of my hand and reattached himself to Niall's leg. I stopped too, looking at him. Ronan hadn't even been awake when Niall was in the hospital room. Riddle was the only one he'd really talked to. Unless…

"You got him?" I asked as Niall leaned down and picked him up before continuing to walk.

"It's fine." Niall nodded. And then Riddle had let go of Danielle's hand and was standing right in front of my legs, arms in the air.

"Up!" He shouted, spit flying out of his mouth.

"Can you say please?" I asked, leaning down so I was eye-level with him.

"Up!" He shouted again, grabbing my face in his hands and squeezing my cheeks together.

"All right you little rugrat." I sighed, putting my hands under his arms and lifting him onto my hip.

"Ro" Riddle said, mouth muffled against my shoulder, and I quickened my pace for a few steps until I was walking next to Niall.

"There's Ro. You see him?" I asked, leaning back to try and look at Riddle's face. He was looking at Ronan and laughing, reaching his hand out to try and touch his face.

They didn't talk to each other so much as babble sounds, but their little faces were so animated, so invested in each other's nonsense that I was sure they knew what the other was trying to say.

"That's amazing." Niall whispered, and only then did I notice he was looking at the boys as well, smiling his smile.

"They are." I agreed, quickly moving my eyes back down to the boy's faces when his flashed up to catch me staring. Damn.

"So…where did you grow up then?" He asked, and my heart kind of squeezed in my chest a little bit. _"Can I know you?"_ He'd asked.

"Virginia." I answered immediately. "You?"

"Mullingar."

"Favorite food?"

"Nando's. You?"

"One, I have no idea what Nando's is. And…I'd have to say mashed potatoes. My mom's mashed potatoes." I smiled.

"Nando's is the greatest thing ever and I just…the fact that you have never had the most amazing chicken…it's just…I don't know how to react."

"Oh I'm sure it's really not that good." I teased, laughing at his face.

"I will graciously choose not to respond to that. Favorite animal?"

"Wolf. Because they are beautiful."

"Until they tear your face off."

"Until they tear your face off." I agreed.

"Mine is…a hippo." He said, and I laughed again. "No laughing at my animal. Favorite book."

"The Belief Instinct." I answered automatically. "Psychology book. Extremely interesting. You?"

"Fledgling Jason Steed."

"I'll have to read it. Favorite…ugh I don't know. Favorite…type of…tree?"

"Pine." He said, completely straight faced.

"Oh really? That's unfortunate. I'm more of a oak fan myself."

"I've heard that oak girls are crazy."

"I've heard that pine guys are kinky." I said, schooling my expression. His mouth dropped open in shock and he put a hand over Ronan's ears.

"Lily you can't speak that way around the children! I am just…I am shocked at you." He shook his head and I couldn't hold back my smile anymore.

"I'm funny."

"I'm hungry." Niall said. I looked over at him, watching in confusion as Ronan lowered his head quickly onto Niall's shoulder as we neared the car. I needed to ask him but…we were already at the car now, and I quickly unlocked the door and put Riddle in his car seat.

I watched Niall snap Ronan in, and reached over to tug on the straps anyways. You could never be too sure.

"Mind if I ride with you?" He asked, walking over to my side of the car. I watched as everyone else approached the car.

"That's fine." I answered quickly. Quietly. He walked around the car and slipped into the passenger. Danielle's eyes followed him. I didn't miss the smile that flashed quickly across her face.

"We'll just follow you then?" She asked, walking up to the back seat window and tapping on the glass, waving when Riddle looked out and smiled at her.

"Yeah. It's not very far away." I said, carefully only keeping my eyes on her face. What were the others thinking? Did they even think it was weird that Niall was riding with me?

Did he do this kind of thing often?

My stomach dropped. Oh god. He was in a famous boy band, he probably hit on girls all the time. Asked to know them all the time. I kind of wanted to be sick. Why was I so naïve? Why, _why_ _**why**_?

"Okay, see you there." She said, as they all walked back over to their own car. I stood outside my door for a second, breathing deeply.

I would not be a nervous, self-conscious teenage girl. I was a mother. I could be responsible about this. Logical. Yes.

I slid into the car and buckled up quickly, starting up the car and hearing the radio kick on, playing the CD that I already had in there.

"Frank Sinatra?" Niall asked, and I looked over at him, blushing.

"Um…yeah." I said, turning in the seat to back out of the parking place. Riddle and Ro were babbling away still. I wondered once again how they could possibly still be entertained with the others random noises.

"I love his music." Niall said quietly, and as I stopped to put the car back into drive. I stared at him for a second. I recognized the song. Strangers in the Night.

My breath caught in my throat. There wasn't anything electrical about the atmosphere in the car. There couldn't be, with two twin toddlers in the back. But there was something…light. Comfortable. Like I could just start driving forever and never want to leave the car because this felt…cozy.

"Dean Martin as well." He said. We were frozen. Captured inside this moment that really didn't make sense. I don't know why he was so still. But I couldn't move because I was so completely elated by the idea that he was staring at me like…well, like I was beautiful. Like I was _special_. And this was so insane. It'd been one day, really. Not even that. A night in the hospital and a dinner. It just…I didn't know him. This couldn't happen.

I couldn't be thinking about how wonderful it would be for him to be there to help me with Riddle and Ronan all the time.

I couldn't think that because I could never ever ask that of him. Even if we fell in love I couldn't ask someone to take on the responsibility I had willingly shouldered. I couldn't ask him to grow up just because I'd wanted to.

And he was famous. And he was busy. And he was going places.

And I was here.

And there was such a distance between us but for some reason he acted like the bottomless pit between our two worlds didn't really exist. _"Can I know you?"_

And then a car horn honked and I jumped in my seat, turning to look behind us, where Louis sat behind the wheel, laughing.

"Right. Denny's." I said, turning around and shifting into drive.

"Right." Niall said, and he sounded almost…disappointed.

I didn't work up the nerve to talk to him again until the ride was nearly over.


	10. Chapter 10

"Did Ronan wake up?" I asked, as I realized we would be to Denny's soon. I still had that question.

"What?" Niall asked, turning to look in the back seat.

"No, I mean at the hospital. Did he wake up while I was asleep?" I asked. Niall shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm not…mad. I just…I was wondering because he seemed comfortable with you. Like he'd met you before and he…well he usually is very shy."

Except I was a little bit angry. Ronan was my son. _Mine._ My responsibility. If he had woken up why hadn't Niall gotten me up? I could've helped. Ronan should have seen that his mother was there for him. There to protect him. To make him feel better when he was sick. That was _my_ job.

"I'm sorry." Niall said, biting his lip. And then I felt just a little bit bad for being angry and lying about it. He could tell. I don't know how he could tell, but he could.

"No…it's fine."

"It's not. He's your son. I should've gotten you up but…he wasn't crying or anything. He was just kind of tossing around, all sweaty. So I just sang to him for a bit. He calmed down. Fell back asleep." He shrugged. "And you looked so tired…I just really didn't want to bother you."

"Ronan's my son. It's never a bother." I said quickly. Then I looked out the window, blinking slowly. I needed to calm down. Not be so snappish. Even I couldn't deny that the thought had been…well, sweet. "But thank you." I quietly continued, not daring to look over at him. "He…he can't sleep without a song. I don't know how you knew that or if it was just lucky but…thank you."

"He kept saying 'la'. I figured there were only so many things it could mean." He responded, and I could hear the very tentative smile in his voice.

"I'm sure he appreciated hearing you sing more than me. I'm afraid I won't be winning any singing competitions any time soon." I joked, my eyes scanning the parking lot for a space. Of course. This would be the one day that Denny's was packed.

"You really are amazing." He said suddenly, and I swallowed thickly. _Driving. Drive carefully. Driving and not dying is important._

"You really should stop saying things like that." I lightly chastened him.

"Why?"

Was he really so oblivious? So…carefree? I had to once again remind myself that we were only 18. Of course he was reckless. He was a teenager. _I_ was a teenager. It was just, after only a few months of being a mother, I had already fallen into the role of the responsible, sensible parent. To have someone urge me to act less uptight, more open to the feelings and whims of others was disconcerting.

"Because…this is…crazy!" I shouted, trying to keep my voice light despite the fact that my toes were numb. "I don't even know you. You don't really know me either. You don't…I could beat my children for all you know!" I shouted, motioning to Riddle and Ronan wildly. They carried on their conversation, blissfully unaware of my current predicament.

"I don't think you do." He shrugged. I jerked the keys out of the ignition and threw myself back in the seat, huffing. He was not going with the script. We were supposed to be agreeing that this wasn't going to work. This whole knowing each other thing. He was fucking insane.

"I think you should just…give me your number. I'm just as determined as Danielle when it comes to some things. I'm not gonna let you get out of my several hundred questions that easily." He continued, smiling before unbuckling and jumping out of the car.

He cheated. Damn him. Damn it. AH!

"Coming?" He asked, the back door open as he began to unbuckle Riddle, who looked confused and only a little bit afraid.

"Yes. It's okay Riddle. Mommy's right here." I said, as Niall picked up Riddle and he immediately began wriggling in his arms.

I quickly extracted myself for the car and hurried around the grab Ronan, noticing that rest of the group walking towards us.

"Welcome to American fine dining!" I shouted to them, readjusting Ronan on my hip before doing a very elaborate flourish to the restaurant at our right.

"Hey, we've already been to the Cracker Barrel!" Harry shouted back, quieter as they got closer. I smiled, watching in amusement as he shook his hair and brushed it all into a giant swoosh with his hands.

"Sorry I neither know nor can afford something classier." I shrugged, hating that I lied. Because only one part of that statement was true.

But that only made me think of my parents and I just didn't want to do that today.

"Shall we?" I asked, nodding to the front door and beginning to walk when I saw them all nod. Niall quickly fell into step behind me. "Question." I asked quietly, turning to look at the rest of the group. Danielle was closest, and she was deeply interested in her conversation with Liam.

"Anything." He whispered back.

"Who is that standing over by the entrance to the parking lot?" I asked, holding Ronan tighter to my body.

Niall quickly glanced in that direction, and I watched his face cloud over for a second before it solidified into a mask.

"Paparazzi." He said back to me, and I nodded as we approached the door and he automatically reached forward to usher me inside.

As soon as we were inside Paul was by our side.

"Did you see?" He asked Niall, looking around the rest of the place, like men with cameras were going to jump out from booths and start attacking us.

"Yeah. Just one right?" He asked, hanging back with Paul as I walked forward to the woman who was currently standing there, wide eyed and slack-jawed at the group. Okay. So a fan. I could do this.

"Excuse me?" I asked, leaning down slightly to get into her view and catch her attention. She shook herself and looked at me, glancing at me and then back to the group with wide eyes.

"U-um. Yes?" She stuttered, her eyes repeatedly flying over to Zayn.

"Table for nine. We'll need two highchairs." I said. She looked at Ronan in my arms and over to Riddle in Niall's arms and suddenly seemed to realize what was going on. She scrambled for a pen and scribbled down what I said quickly.

"Yes. Okay. Yes. Be right back." She said, and turned tail and ran back into the kitchen. Probably to alert every else to this interesting development.

I felt someone slide up behind me and knew it was Niall without having to look. Which was really pathetic.

"You've got a fan here." I said, hiding my smirk when I saw the girl peak back around the corner, catch us looking and then spin back around to hide.

"We usually do." He sighed, running a hand over his face. But he was smiling.

"You're not upset are you?" I asked, turning towards him and quirking an eyebrow.

"No. I'll always be grateful for the fans. _Always_. It's just," He sighed again, tilting his head back and forth a couple times like he was tossing words around in there, trying to get them to fall into order. "Sometimes I would like to just go out to a second-rate restaurant and eat in peace, you know. I mean, I still love it I just…"

"Want to be normal sometimes." I finished for him.

"Exactly."

"Sometimes I wish I could just call a babysitter for Riddle and Ronan and go out and shop with my friends. I love my sons so so much but they make it kind of impossible to connect with normal people. The whole mother thing usually scares people away." I shrugged. I figured, a confession for a confession. Only fair.

"It doesn't scare me away." He said, his hand automatically running a hand up and down Riddle's back when he started to fidget.

"I know." I said simply, and then tried not to think about it for the rest of the day.


	11. Chapter 11

They'd gone. They'd spent a few days here, mostly walking around and hanging around my apartment with the twins and it allowed me some time to get some studying done.

There'd been a night when only Niall had come over. For dinner. Nothing more. There was no goodnight kiss. There was only the awkward moment when he was leaving where I wasn't sure if he would kiss me and I wasn't sure how I would react if he did.

He must have decided it was too soon though, because he left with a light kiss on my knuckles.

They left the next day. I didn't go to the airport to see them off.

And so then I began the process of trying to forget it had ever happened because if there was one thing I was sure about it was that I wouldn't hear from them again. They truly were wonderful people and Danielle had turned out to be someone I could be real friends with. But they were gone now. And I didn't think they'd be coming back anytime soon.

But the whole, forgetting thing was kind of difficult when there were a handful of reporters following me around with cameras, trying to ask me questions about the band. Namely Niall.

I had added two more magazines to my collection since they'd been gone.

One contained an article speculating on the parenthood of Ronan and Riddle with a picture of Niall and I walking in the park, holding the twins. And even I can admit that it looks suspicious with us leaning back to the look at the twins faces and then looking at each other.

The other was simply another article asking questions about who I was, where I'd come from and what I was to the band. This one had a blurry picture of the whole gang walking towards the Denny's Niall and I at the front and Paul walking along everyone.

Niall had refused comment for both articles. And even if I'd never admit it I wondered why he'd asked if he could know me if he was going to avoid answering questions about me.

So, imagine my shock when I returned home from picking up the twins from daycare to discover I had a message on the home phone from a number with a strange country and area code.

My breath caught in my throat at the voice on the other end.

"'Ello Lily. It's Niall. Niall Horan. Um…I guess you're at school or the like or just were too busy with Riddle and Ro for a chat I just…you know, wanted to talk, see how you were doing. Actually, I had a list of very specific questions. Like what your favorite movie is. Your favorite colour. If you had any pets when you were little. So just call me back when you get the chance."

And so began our game of cat and mouse. I'd call him, and get his answering machine, so I'd answer the questions and then he'd call back and I would be at school and he'd answer my questions and ask a couple more.

It was probably strange, to communicate that way, but the time difference was a problem when I was a full time student and mother.

And that reminded me, I still needed to call my parents before they saw my picture in the tabloids.

As I dialed the number and held the phone to my ear I took a deep breath. I loved my parents. They were good people, kind people, and they supported my decision to be a mother. They just didn't support my idea of going to school at the same time.

"Hello?" My mother's voice answered on the other end, too loud and slightly raspy from years of sucking on cigarettes.

"Hi mom." I greeted, lowering myself to the ground to help Riddle and Ronan with their toys. I tried not to immediately put the right blocks in the right holes, instead settling for helping them guide their hands to the right place.

"Lily! Oh hold on—John, Lily's on the phone, pick up!" She yelled to somewhere else in the house.

"Lily?" A deep voice suddenly came on another line. A voice that reminded me of mulch and swing sets on a hot summer day.

"Hi daddy." I greeted, opening my mouth wide at Ronan and holding a thumbs up when he successfully lowered a square block into the square hole.

"How are you doing? How are the boys?" My mother jumped in immediately.

"I'm fine. They're fine. We had a little bit of a scare a couple weeks ago when they both got sick but they're better now. Healthy, happy, and growing bigger every day." I smiled.

"And school?" My father asked. I kind of wanted to sigh because I knew as soon as I answered the question what was going to come next.

"A little stressful but I'm keeping up with my grades." I said.

"Well…I just don't know why you have to go to school at all. You know you could—"

"Yes, mother, I know I could just stop and take my inheritance and never have to work again but I don't _want_ to. I can do this mom. I can be normal."

"Think about your boys sweet-heart." My dad stepped in.

"Daddy I _am_. I don't want them to grow up the way I did. Never wanting anything. Kids aren't supposed to get everything they want. It teaches them to look at life appropriately. It builds character." I argued.

"But you turned out just fine!"

"No. I was a bratty child who thought I should get everything I desired. And you let me be that way. It took Ali getting pregnant for me to realize that sometimes life isn't fair. I _need_ to do this mom." I said, smiling at Riddle when he looked at me. They could tell when I was distressed.

"We understand." My father interrupted what my mom was about to say. "We just worry is all."

"I know you do, but I'm tired of having this argument. I don't work. I use the inheritance money to pay for rent and food but I'm trying to just…keep things normal. Riddle and Ro have food and clothes but they don't get every toy they want. We don't have cable. We have a crappy TV and they share a room and I like it this way. I want them to learn to earn things."

"We understand." My father repeated, although I heard my mother huff on the other end of the phone. "Now, care to explain why you have been pictured with a member of a famous boy band?" He moved on quickly, and my stomach definitely only dropped a little bit.

"Well…he's just a friend. I mean, he wants it to be something else and I do to but we're taking this slow…whatever it is. He lives very far away and I just…I have the boys. I can't be irresponsible anymore. So I don't know…it's hard to explain what exactly is going on there." I struggled for words.

"Just promise us you're being careful." My mother pleaded.

"Of course I am." I said, sighing at her worry. Mothers have a horrible tendency to do that.

"Well then we trust you. You know that right? We trust you." My dad said, and I blinked back tears. I really missed them sometimes.

"I know. Thanks you guys. I have to go though. Riddle and Ronan want me to play with them. I love you guys okay? Take care." I said. And hung up after they had returned the goodbyes. "What're we playing boys?" I asked, falling forward onto my stomach and allowing Riddle to get up and climb onto my back. "Horsey?" I asked, getting up on my hands and knees. "Hold on to me buddy." I said, waiting for his hands to curl tightly into my shirt.

I ended up carrying them each around the room four times before I was simply too tired. They were getting big after all.

"Okay boys, no more." I sighed, falling onto my back on the carpet. Riddle still decided he could lay on me, and placed his head on my stomach. "Mommy's tired." I sighed, wiping a bead of sweat from my forehead as Ronan curled up against my shoulder.

"Ma ma." He cooed quietly, putting his little hand on my face. I leaned my head to the side and kissed his palm, smiling against the slightly damp, warm skin.

"I love you." I said, reaching up and running a hand through his hair, while my other one reached down to lay itself against Riddle's back.

I was supposed to be studying. I had a final coming up after all.

But as Riddle and Ronan began to babble at each other, neither moving from my side, I decided that it could wait.

The knock on the door at four in the morning was not something I was happy about. But the reporter on the other side with a camera pointed at me, snapping pictures as soon as I opened the door wide enough, just pissed me off. I slammed the door immediately, locking it again.

"Ugh." I sighed, walking through the living room to go back to bed. Then I noticed the 1 blinking on the answering machine. Might as well.

"Hey Lily. Niall again. I'd have to say that…well, I'm closer to my mom. My parents divorced when I was five so things have been kind of hard. I mean, I love them both and everything but it's hard to know them both the same way, you know? I'm probably not makin' any sense. But…I was really wonderin'…see we have this interview tomorrow and I know they're gonna ask about you so I was wonderin' well…I already asked but, can I know you? Now that you've had a taste of the paparazzi, do you still say yes?"

I sat on the couch for ten minutes thinking before I called him back. He answered on the second ring.

"Lily?"

"Hey Niall." I smiled in the dark.

"I thought you wouldn't get my message until-"

"Paparazzi woke me up. I figured why not." I said, talking through a yawn.

"Right…sorry. How are the boys?"

"They're fine. Learning new words. Riddle is actually close to being able to say want. So, that'll be fun." I laughed, shaking my head. "But to answer your question, yes, you can know me. I mean, I think at this point you really do know me. And saying you don't won't make them stop. You know that." I said.

"It's true, and I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're easy to talk to. Even if this is still crazy and weird. And since you told me about your parents, I'll tell you about mine really quick." I said, laying back on the couch and stretching.

"I'm all ears." He said. I thought I could hear the rest of the boys in the background, and I wondered where he was. But right, me first.

"My parents are still together and live in Florida. They're your typical retiree's except they retired very early. They enjoy cooing over Riddle and Ronan and sending them presents that I tell them not to send and they're just now learning to understand my desire to go to school."

"Understand…?" Niall asked.

"I…" This was it. I didn't tell people my parents were millionaires. I mean, it was a pretty big thing when you considered that that made me a millionaire too. But…I just…wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know me.

"Lily?"

"I'm rich." I blurted out. "Like…really rich. I don't have to work if I don't want to. I could quit school, move into a nice big house and never worry about anything ever again. But…I want to go to school. It's why they have to learn to understand. I just-"

"Want to earn it." Niall said, and I fell silent for a few moments.

"Yeah," I finally muttered. "Exactly."

"This may be a bit forward, and it may make you uncomfortable but I have to say it." Niall began, and I held my breath. "If I was there with you, right now, I'd kiss you." He said, and I knew my face was stop-light red in that moment.

"I..I'd l-let you." I forced out the words. Because now was not the time to be a chicken.

"I'm glad to hear it." He chuckled, and then we were silent. We didn't have to fill it with meaningless words. It was enough for me to just lie there, listening to his nearly inaudible breathing on the other end. It was like we were together, in some way, because I could hear him just be and I didn't want to say anything.

"I have to go. I have school in a few hours." I whispered after what felt like forever.

"Watch the interview later. We'll be on the Jeremy Kyle Show. I'm sure you'll be able to look it up on youtube." He said.

"Okay…goodnight." I said.

"Goodnight."

And then I went back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

"So Niall, you have recently been pictured with this lovely girl and two little boys. Now people have been saying all kinds of things but you just have to tell us…who is she?" The crowd ooo'd and I couldn't help blushing at my computer screen.

And I didn't even try to convince myself that the blush on Niall's cheeks was my imagination. Harry was smiling into his hands, Louis and Zayn were staring at him and Liam was nudging him with his elbow.

"That's uh…that's Lily." He said, and I shivered at the way my name rolled off his tongue because honestly the Irish accent never ever gets old. Ever.

"Lily," the hostess said, looking to the audience and shaking her eyebrows. "Care to tell us about this Lily?"

"I um…I'm not sure exactly what to say really. I mean…we talk. Not even on the phone we just call and leave messages because the time difference is mad. But it's enough for me." He said quickly, looking at the camera like he knew I would be sitting here watching.

"So are you two romantically involved then?"

"It's complicated." Niall sighed, looking down and scrubbing his face with his hands as Liam smiled and rubbed his back supportively. The crowd was going crazy.

"Complicated can mean a lot of things." The woman prompted.

"She's…well she's in school right now. And she has Riddle and Ronan to take care of and so of course I realize I can never be priority to them. I wouldn't want that. Riddle and Ro are amazing children they are…they're perfect. I mean…they're kids so they take a lot of time to take care of and there's always a mess and then there's just stopping them from like putting bark in their mouth and teaching them how to say milk properly and she…she has a lot going on. I mean the boys really are beautiful. They have this…this baby talk I guess and even though it's just sounds they can go on for hours. And I haven't even known them for very long but I can tell that they're great. Riddle is a bit of a trouble-maker, and likes to say no but he never really causes too much trouble and Ro is just the quietest, sweetest child you'd ever meet. Like I said, she has a lot happening right now. But she knows I care about her. She knows I want to know her and that if she was here with me I would kiss her but she's not and that is exactly what makes it complicated." He rambled, blushing horribly at how much he had said.

I understood his pain.

"I think I am obligated to say what we're all thinking: Niall you are sounding very much like a parent right now." The hostess laughed with the audience.

My stomach dropped. I really didn't like where this was going. At all.

"Those kids love him," Harry jumped in, smiling and I was grateful for him for taking the camera off Niall who was probably having a freak out right now because he'd probably never thought of it that way. "I mean, they only got to be around him for a few days but he helped out Lily a lot I know. But it is complicated and we don't want to really reveal _too_ much about her sons just because they are little and so should have privacy."

"Of course," the woman said, even when the audience made discontented little noises. "But do you know how Lily feels about this?"

"She wants to know me too. I think we're both…waiting for the right time. This year's tour will be wrapping up soon. I'll have some free-time."

"Is there any chance you'll be taking a trip back to America then?"

"I think…that that's a possibility." He said, looking at the camera quickly. My stomach was tied into a million wonderful knots being tied tighter and tighter by the butterflies.

_If I was there I'd kiss you._

"Just one more question," The woman said tentatively, and Niall nodded. "How old is Lily? I mean she has two sons so-"

"She's 18," Niall cut her off, his jaw clenching barely. I wasn't sure everyone could notice. "And she is probably one of the most amazing mothers I've ever met."

"Thank you, now we also have some question about your tour-"

But I wasn't listening anymore. My stomach was so terribly conflicted.

"Ma ma. Up!" Ronan shouted from beside my chair, and I quickly lifted him to my lap.

"How are you today squirt?" I asked, running my hands through his hair. He needed it cut. They both did.

"Wan joo." He said, and I rolled my eyes. Shame on Riddle for teaching Ronan to say want. Soon they'd be wanting cookies and cars and college tuition money.

"Apple or grape?" I asked patiently, getting up and setting him on the ground. He followed me into our little kitchen, standing in front of the fridge.

"Grwape." He said.

It was as if suddenly, in the few weeks that had passed from what I referred to as the One Direction incident, they had doubled their vocabulary. It was almost scary, how fast they were picking up words now. I had to watch what I said.

"Okay grape juice it is my fine sir." I smiled, pouring it into the cup and snapping a lid on before handing it to him. "Where's Riddle?" I asked, following him into the living room—to find Riddle colouring all over the walls. With marker. "Riddle!" I shouted immediately as an instinct, rushing over and snatching his hands away from the wall, careful to keep the marker tips away from everyone and everything.

"Ma ma. See?" He asked, looking at the wall and smiling. See. That was another new development as of last week. He liked to say it about everything now.

"Yes Riddle I see. That is bad. Do you understand me? Bad. You don't colour on the walls." I sighed, stressed out. I pulled the markers from him and capped them, looking around. "Where did you get these?" Of course he didn't answer.

"Ri bad!" Ronan suddenly shouted at Riddle, walking over and grabbing his face.

"Ronan-" I began but was cut off by the sound of the phone ringing. "Don't-" I began as Riddle suddenly pushed Ronan away from him. But instead of continuing I quickly grabbed the phone and clicked it. "Hello?" I snapped, walking over and trying to separate the twins with one hand. Ronan was crying loudly, even though I knew he wasn't really hurt. He'd fallen on his butt on the carpet. He was just in need of attention.

"Bad time?" Someone asked on the other end. Someone with an Irish accent.

"Niall." I breathed, but even then I had to be truthful. I couldn't ignore my boys and drop everything because Niall picked an inconvenient time to call. "Yes actually—Riddle, no—it is." I struggled to form a sentence while grabbing the markers up and pulling them away from his reaching hands.

"I'll go. Take care of them. Tell them I said hi." Niall quickly said, but I was already dropping the phone and grabbing Riddle by the arm, giving him a swat to the butt that immediately resulted in him crying.

But make no mistake, I did not hit him hard.

Ronan got a swat too. So now I had two crying toddlers, one of which had marker on his hands and face.

So instead of trying to wipe him off I just stuck both of them in the bath.

"You weren't being very nice today." I told them gently as I poured water over their hair. "Were you?" I asked.

"Bad" Ronan said, splashing the water with his hands.

"Yes, you were acting bad. You are not bad boys. You are good boys aren't you?" I asked them, carefully dipping my fingers in the water and sighing. The floor was uncomfortable and my jeans were splattered with water and I still had to clean marker off the walls.

But it wasn't a bad day.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end answered, and I sighed in relief.

"I'm sorry for being snappy today." I whispered, knowing the boys were asleep and that if they woke up all Hell would break loose.

"Don't apologize. How are they?" He asked

"Good, and only sometimes bad. Colouring on the walls. That's what you interrupted today. Riddle somehow got into some markers and ended up making a mural in the living room. I got most of it out but…you know. Oh well."

"Seems like you've got a future artist on your hands." He joked, and I smiled.

"Hopefully not a vandal though. God I can already see him though, running from the cops because he spray-painted stuff on the side of a school."

"He'll be fine. He's got you to steer him right.

"Maybe." I mumbled, closing my eyes. "Niall…I don't know what I'm doing." I whispered, hoping my voice didn't crack like I thought it had.

"About what?"

"About anything!" I cried, tossing my arm through the air. "I didn't give birth to those boys. I love them they're my sons but I don't…how am I supposed to know what's right? I don't get the advantage of instant motherly instincts. I just…I'm afraid I'm going to screw them up. I don't know if I'm parenting them right or if…ugh. I've been on this rant before."

"Yes."

"I can't help it. It's what I worry about most of the time."

"You shouldn't say sorry so much. Shouldn't feel bad about worrying. They're your children, of course you're going to be worried about how you're raising them. I imagine all parents feel that way. Biological or not."

"I know," I sighed, leaning my head against the couch and pulling at loose threads. "I saw your interview," I said.

"Yes, see that's what I was calling to talk to you about." He began. My heart was instantly in my throat, wrapping little veins all around my air tubes and choking me. It was a violent heart. "I was thinking…well, what with the tour wrapping up and a few weeks of recording and stuff to go through…maybe I could come visit you in the summer? Not for like, the whole summer just for like, a week maybe. Just to see you. And the boys." He said haltingly.

"Of course," I said, trying very hard to keep the utter relief out of my voice. For a second I'd thought he was going to say something about the parent comment. And that was a conversation I just wasn't ready to have. "I mean, summer is an easy time for me. I don't have school. Don't have work. I'd have the time to spend."

"Okay." He sighed, also sounding relieved. "But when I say me…I really mean just me. No Danielle or Liam or Zayn,"

"I know." I cut him off, smiling at his nervousness.

"All right…so…if you had to choose between living a very long and boring life or a very short, exciting one…which would you choose?" He asked randomly, and my smile grew wider.

"Long and boring." I answered automatically.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Boring doesn't necessarily mean unhappy. I'd be perfectly fine living a completely normal, average life. Kids, a house in a suburban neighborhood. Maybe a dog or something. And of course a real job. Real problems. Just…normal."

"You know…my answer was originally short and exciting. But you don't make long and boring sound so bad."

"I'm insightful. A genius, practically."

"Modest too." He joked, and I laughed, before remembering the boys and shutting my eyes tightly.

"I think I might have just woken the boys up." I laughed again. It was one of those days where even with the marker and the crying it couldn't be upsetting. I heard them stirring in their room and walked in, holding the phone against my shoulder. "You guys want to sleep with mommy tonight?" I asked them, pulling them out of their cirbs and allowing them to run into my room.

"Sounds like you will be having a sleepover." Niall said.

"I kind of miss them sometimes." I said, grunting as I helped lift them onto the bed. "I mean, I see them all day but so much of the time is spent taking care of them that I don't get to be with them. You know?"

"Not really," He laughed, "But I'm trying to understand it."

"Mama" Ronan whined, sitting close to me and holding his hand out for the phone.

"I think someone wants to talk to you," I said, before handing the phone to Ronan for a moment.

I watched Ronan sit with the phone to his ear and mumble a few things that weren't English into the speaker. Then I saved the phone from Riddle and his drool.

"I'm sure you just had a very enlightening conversation." I said, putting the phone back to my ear.

"I learned so much," He replied, and I could imagine him shaking his head.

"You know what I've noticed?" I asked him, holding my hand out for Riddle to play with.

"What's that?"

"You're real."

"Oh really now?" He asked, and I could tell he was smiling.

"No, I mean, you don't act for the fans. You don't put on a show for anyone. You're always just…you. It's endearing." I mumbled, blushing despite myself.

"Thank you." He said seriously. "And it should please you to know that you are the most real girl I have ever met. It's attractive."

"You're silly." I sighed, trying to de-intensify the moment. "And I'm afraid I really have to go now. Finals on Monday. Tomorrow should be a study day after grocery shopping. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay…bye."

"Bye…" I said, but didn't hang up.

"Bye…" He repeated.

"This is cheesy. I'm hanging up now."

And I did.


	13. FINALE THE END

Summer is my favourite season. Most people find it too hot or too humid or too much. I love it. I have the time to take Riddle and Ronan to the park. I have time to keep the house clean and make real food and watch TV and play with my kids and it's the most wonderful time of the year.

"Oh no you caught me!" I screamed, throwing my hands up in the air and falling to the ground. Riddle and Ronan immediately collapsed on top of me, both laughing hysterically, which was a truly magnificent thing to witness.

"You all are getting so fast!" I cried, sitting up and tickling them so that they were rolling in the grass, kicking their feet. "And so big!" I cried again, helping them sit up and hugging them both to me tightly. I felt bad. Like I had somehow missed months. Like I hadn't had the brain power to focus and notice the little things. Like how Ronan could climb up on the couch by himself and how Riddle hadn't been saying no as much lately.

The Sun was high in the sky but it wasn't unbearably hot today. There was a light breeze and it had rained a few days before so everything still smelled fresh. There were other families out in the park and a small Bar-B-Q going on by one of the grills. The smell of hot dogs and chips drifted towards us.

"I love my smart boys." I smiled, releasing them so they could run back to the blanket and play with their cars. I crawled over to them as well, opening the basket and pulling out a peanut and butter sandwich.

"Are you hungry?" I asked them, zipping open the cooler and handing them their juices.

"Wan'" Riddle said, reaching for my sandwich before reinserting his cup into his mouth.

"Do you want one too Ronan?" I asked, turning to open the basket and pulling out the plastic wrapped plates of their food. Small squares of PB&J sandwiches and strawberries.

I didn't get an answer.

I turned back around and set the plate in front of Riddle. Ronan wasn't sitting where he had been.

"Ro?" I cried immediately, jumping up and spinning around. _Oh god, oh god, oh…_

"…Niall?" I asked, looking at the owner of the leg that Ronan was currently wrapped around.

"Hey Lily," He greeted, smiling. And I loved and had missed that stupid smile and then I was walking towards him and hugging him as tightly as I could while still being mindful of the toddler on his leg.

"I…you're here!" I shouted, stepping back while he reached down and pulled Ronan up, hugging him tightly and dropping a kiss onto the top of his head.

"I said I'd be here for summer." He stated calmly, walking past me to set Ronan down on the blanket, and reaching out to try and shake Riddle's hand. Riddle promptly rolled onto his back and started playing with his feet instead.

"I know but…I thought you'd…call or, or something this is…"

"A surprise?" He asked kindly, turning towards me and approaching very slowly. Like I might attack him or something. "That was the idea." He added, now no more than a foot away from me.

My breath died in my throat, my eyes flying to take in every single detail of his face and his voice and everything about this moment.

"I just…I keep thinking that one day I'll just stop hearing from you. You'll meet someone at a concert or something. I don't know. This still doesn't seem real I guess."

"Remember what I told you. On the phone?"

I blushed, thinking of the kissing bit but not sure that he was talking about that.

"You said a lot of things on the phone." I dodged, dropping my eyes before glancing over his shoulder to look at the boys. They were rolling around on the blanket.

"No. About this." He said, and my eyes didn't really have time to return to his face before his lips were on mine.

There was nothing explosive there. Nothing life-changing. It was just…nice. And warm. And he smelled good and I was sure there was peanut butter on my teeth but it didn't matter. I wasn't stressed out and he was _here_ and it really was perfect. You don't need fireworks. Or at least, I didn't.

He pulled away shortly, just enough so that it was acceptable for me to open my eyes.

"That was…nice." I whispered, smiling at him and carefully reaching down to take his hand. This was all very new. All very strange. But his returning smile made me forget how to be nervous. "You wanna sit?" I asked, already pulling him back over to the blanket.

"Of course."

And so we spent the day at the park in the sun. He got burned. I got tanned. We ate peanut butter and jelly and played tag with the boys and when they got tired I took them home. He stayed and drank coffee and watched America's Next Top Model with me.

And I couldn't have wanted anything else in the entire world.

**6 months later**

"Hey." Was his casual greeting when I opened the door to Niall. He didn't ask to be invited in, just pushed the door open further and kissed me. I sighed and hugged him, glad for this one bit of sanity.

"Hey. I'm glad you're back."

"Acting up again?" He asked. I nodded as I heard Ronan and Riddle start fighting again in the living room.

"Boys!" I called, marching back to break them up and give them a firm talking to.

But I instantly forgot it all when Niall walked into the room and Ronan jumped off of the couch and ran to him, wrapping himself around his legs tightly.

"Daddy!" He screamed giddily, and I froze where I stood. Riddle got up next, seeming almost embarrassed as he walked over and wrapped himself around Niall's other leg.

Niall's face was frozen as he stared down at them. My heart lurched.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, walking over to pull them off. I thought I might be sick.

"No!" He shouted, holding his hand out to me. When he looked up he didn't look horrified though. Terrified maybe, but not horrified. There was something defiant in his eye. And there was also something that was beating steadily with…pride. "It's fine. They can call me that, if you'll allow it. I don't mind it. I actually kind of like it." He said carefully.

And I definitely didn't tear up when I said it was perfectly acceptable.

**Two Years Later**

"How was the signing?" I asked, closing the door behind him and locking it. It was late. The boys were sleeping.

"All right." He sighed. Toeing his shoes off he walked into the living room, shoving his hands in his pocket and turning around in a circle, taking in the decorations he had seen a million times before.

"Are you okay? You seem tense." I began, only to watch him spin quickly again towards me and drop to his knee. I jumped back a little, startled. "Niall what're you-"

"Lily Draven I've been in love with you for…well probably from the moment I met you in that hospital. I've been in love with your sons for just as long and I want you to marry me. I want to be their dad. They call me it already and I love it and I want them to be mine just as much as they're yours. And I love you and if I could think of any better way to say it I would but that's all there is. I love you and I want to do it for the rest of my life."

He slipped a ring out of his pocket and held it out to me.

I definitely cried when I said yes.

**Three Years Later**

"She's beautiful." He said, tears in his eyes as he stared at our daughter. Our beautiful, perfect angel. Emma.

"Why is she sleeping?" Riddle asked bluntly, reaching to very carefully touch her cheek. Ronan and Riddle sat on opposite sides of me on the bed, staring at their new baby sister.

"She's tired." Ronan answered him confidently, not moving to touch her but staring. Staring hard like if he stared hard enough he would be able to see through her skull and into her brain and know her that way.

"Why?"

"Being born takes a lot of energy. You slept all the time when you were a baby." I said.

"No I didn't." Riddle said, looking at me like I was crazy and somehow still managing to smile, displaying the gap where his tooth had just fallen out.

"Yes you did." Ro argued back, and Niall hushed them quickly.

"Quiet boys. You'll wake her. Why don't we go get some donuts for breakfast okay? Your mummy is very tired and we should let her rest okay?" He asked, already helping them off the bed so they didn't hurt me.

"Thank you." I mouthed to him, smiling when he leaned down to kiss me gently, and took Emma to place her back in the crib.

"We'll be back in a few minutes." He assured me. And left the room. My eyes didn't leave Emma until they came back.

**Two years later**

"What's his name?" Ronan asked, looking at the baby boy in my arms.

"Gavin."

"That's an ugly name." Riddle said, earning himself a firm nudge in the ribs from Ro.

"I like it." Ronan assured me, smiling. And all of the sudden I was crying because I could still remember when they were as tiny as Emma was now and now they were all big grown up kids. And I still loved my boys and they would always be my babies. And I already missed them even though they were still right there.

How fast would the next few years fly by? Soon they'd be in middle school. And in just five short years Gavin would start school and I couldn't help it because I wanted them to all just stay small. It was selfish but I never wanted them to leave me or not need me or grow up.

"I love you boys so much." I whispered and opened my arms. They hugged me willingly, only Riddle sighing a little bit at my emotional state.

"Good job love," Niall said from my side, still gazing down at Gavin, Emma napping on his shoulder.

"I love you too," I whispered to him as a tear took a stroll down my cheek.

"Wow. I love you too. I didn't think being in love with me warranted tears though." He mock winced. And I just smiled even more brightly and closed my eyes.

I was happy.


End file.
